Lemon Party
Thursday, February 26, 2004
This is a link to Lemon Party
Lemon Party is responsible for all of your misfortunes.
No, I'm not just saying that because I find it particularly amusing to do so, I'm saying that because it's true. We are a hate site, and sometime ago Odovaucer and I had a long talk and we decided that our hate can't just relate to blogs. To truly post some of the mean and spiteful things that we have, we needed to go deeper. To not just hate your online ego, but also you. As you may guess however, this had side effects.
We became so enraged... so... infuriated with you that we were forced to take action. Slowly we began compiling your personal information from what we could find on your blog, after that it was simply a matter of combing your friend's blogs for information. Oh, and rest assured them we hate them too now. So, as I was saying after we had compiled as much personal information as possible we began doing things. Little things... we'd write letters to your associates, phone in concerns about you, even leaving incriminating evidence to police cases in your house. Yes, we pretty much did everything.
What this accomplished was planting the seeds of doubt in the minds of everyone who knows you. If anyone is ever particularly mean, now you know why. If you ever wonder why it had to be you that they stole the $20 from, now you know why. More than likely in the future things will get worse and worse, eventually leaving you desolate and alone.
We at Lemon Party take great pleasure from your pain. We live off of it, we need it to survive. Although, even with all of the hatemongering that we're doing we still aren't getting enough. That of course being relative, because we don't actually live off of your pain. We just like it when stupid people suffer... but enough about that. You aren't suffering enough!
This plan is by far the easiest to implement. We hope, that a good number of our readers are also outraged victims. They continue to read only because they fear that we might insult them. As soon as we do they'll bombard us with lots of poorly spelled messaged where they argue about our penis size, or why they don't care but are commenting anyway. So, with that in mind I thought of this plan.
Telling the readers our previous plans. Now before you call me crazy just listen to my logic for a second, ok? If they know what we're doing they'll begin wondering why people hate them so much, causing depression. Then they'll start to get paranoid, what if their 'friends' begin plotting against them based on our suggestions. More than likely that knowledge would ruin their life more than anything else that we could say and do. In the end they'd be paranoid shells of their former selves. We all win. Except for them, but no one cares about them anyway.
So, like I was saying, we all win.
Also, I'd like to discuss our new Lemon Party slogan. Actually this slogan isn't new at all... and it's appeared in every single one of our posts. But I just thought that you all would like to know that our official slogan is:
Lemon Party, because your blog sucks.
It's a much smaller version of our already very swank and sexy signatures, we, and by we I mean Odovaucer, will normally use it when post hurtful comments on other peoples blogs.
Funny story actually, everything on the site is not Odovaucer's idea, I'm pretty sure that I had something to do with our very swank signature.
To amuse myself with the thoughts that we might actually have readers who care, I'll give you all the chance to vote on what kind of entry I'm going to critique in my next update. I believe that I have done guides for Happy, Sad, Angry, and Drunk. Also, the person will be credited so the zanier the idea the better, because honestly, even I could have thought up the 'sleepy' update, great idea there champ. Of course I'm not actually talking about anyone, I'm just insulting you for no reason whatsoever. So comment about what type of entry you want me to critique next and I'll choose the best one. If no one comments I will cry in the corner and probably cut myself.
See you all next time, same Lemon time, same Lemon station.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
I typed this title with just my pinkies
Isn't it funny how the most bitter horrible of us are really the meekest of the bunch?
My name is turtle_07 (Andrew) and I have a problem. I hate too much. Everyday I try to be a nicer person, and I try to make people happy but sometimes I just can't stop myself and I will come here looking to bash people because I think that I'm better than them. That's not true at all. I have my own share of problems, I have my own share of secrets. I can't go on living this lie any longer, I will never feel better until I come clean and reveal all. The infection is spreading and I... I think that it's time that I end it all.
By it all, I meant my pants. Which have now been ended.
Good, on to the actual update. That part not being the actual update. If it were the actual update I probably would have insulted you, and since I did not we can only assume that it was not in the update and instead some sort of witty paragraph that's up there only for your amusement and happiness. LAUGH DAMN YOU LAUGH!
Ok, that part sucked. But this part won't. HONEST!
Ok, that part sucked. But THIS part won't.
Ok, fuck those last two parts, this part is where it's at dude.
Shit, this is going nowhere slowly. It's as if you boarded a train and instead of moving anywhere, they just shot you. Which would totally suck... kind of like this update. See, at Lemon Party we can also insult ourselves. We're just that god. No, I didn't mean to say good, I meant to say god. Which is sacrilegious. Kind of like us.
ENOUGH WITTY BANTER! BRING ON THE SEX!
I don't actually mean sex, because if I did then I wouldn't be so lonely. So lonely...
Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by myself. I didn't mean sex, I meant XES, which is like sex only written backwards and in all caps. Why I did not simply write "BRING ON THE XES" I'm not sure. The point is that I have something to say, and so damnit I'll say it!
Anywho, this update wasn't meant to be anything profound. As most profound things are very stupid, probably because you're stupid. So if I make one point in this update. It's that you should not post profound things in your blog as people have already thought the exact same thing and have been able to put it into words so beautiful that if you were ever to read those words your head would explode.
In case it wasn't obvious by the links, one of the things that I read more than anything else in blogs are the ever so wonderful "People are stupid horrible creatures" posts. I mean Jesus Christ people, get something new to bitch about. We've heard it a million times before and no you're not impressing anyone by trying to distinguish yourself from the rest of the human race. You'll die in a gutter, cold and alone and none of your life will amount to anything. Please, for the love of God stop acting like you see and know how it is and you're above that. If there is one thing that I can't stand are those shitheads that try and distinguish themselves from the rest of us [Also see: Punk, Hot Topic, Indie, Homosexuality (kidding)]. Guess what, you were born one of us and you'll die one of us and stating the obvious won't suddenly exempt you from judgment. (By one of us he means a member of the human race: we don't want you indentified with us, but to a certain degree we are similiar. You are technically human, though we wish Darwin's theories had operated a bit more successfully on your forebears. You're just far less intelligent than the Lemon Party staff. And less pretty. And you have no use other than as a target for our rage. - Odovaucer)
You disgust me:
Thou Shalt Not Post Pseudo-Intellectual Babble About The 'Truth'
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
(Note: The title is entirely true)
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
a wee bit of a Plea (subtite = capitals letters are fun)
Today is known as Mardi Gras or "Fat Tuesday." Sometimes Shrove Tuesday if you feel like sounding priggish. If you've haven't figured out by now that I'm not a prig...well then you're probably one of the dozens who find this site every day off of google searches for Lemon Party. And then you get special dispensation because you're most likely a pervert. No worries though, mate, we don't care how you find us just as long as you read and learn. As for the rest of you, the regulars, well I don't really need to say anything as you're regulars.
To clear something up from recently, I am not what is commonly referred to as a racist. I am realist, I understand the obvious independence of skin color, gender, etc. and other aspects like hair color, height, and tolerance for cold. Oh wait those things are connected. Silly me. But blacks aren't less intelligent than whites from any inborn incompetence; statistics to that effect are the result of class and upbringing rather than eugenics. And of course there's the classic doctrine on the three classes of lies (lies, damn lies, and statistics).
It appears I've gotten off track. That tends to happen. Especially on these special holiday entries. Are they entries? Perhaps update is more appropriate today. Well in case you haven't discovered it yet: there isn't going to be any blogging related content today. Ever so sorry. But that's the way the cliche becomes trite. Or perhaps that's the way the pithy bon mot becomes a trite cliche. I'll have to think, meditate, ruminate, cogitate, and generally consider.
Okay, Mardi Gras. Fat Tuesday. (Editorial Aside: I do indeed realize that these are technically sentence fragments. I have, in fact, used many sentence fragments here on Lemon Party and I intend to continue. I usually try to keep my diction conversational, with a healthy dollop of supercilious ten cent words. This not quite sentence sentences form a critical part of the impression I'm trying to craft, much like my use of contractions. So when I insult you for misspellings and blatant grammatical misspelling don't think you can retaliate by pointing at these fragments. And as to beginning sentences with conjunctions, suffice to say that anyone who managed to complete the eigth grade should understand that that is not a rule but an aid for unskilled scribblers. End Editorial Aside. Or [/Editorial Aside] if you prefer vbCode) Back on topic after that lengthy parenthetical that most likely should have been an endnote (No, not a footnote, there is a difference). Mardi Gras is known for a certain exchange of goods and/or services, services of somewhat ill repute. Specifically I refer to the removal clothing in exchange for brightly colored beads. This practice has most likely arisen from the tradition of getting stinking drunk on Mardi Gras. That tradition most likely stems from mankind's somewhat counterintuitive joy in self-destruction and self-deception. Regardless I'm all for it. Except when the shirt-lifting (or other form of clothing removal) brings to mind the phrase "Fat Tuesday." If you're fat or otherwise physically unattractive I respectfully request that you keep your clothing on, at least as long as I'm within sight. Yeah. That's really it. If you're ugly stay dressed and preferably far from me and the rest of Lemon Party. Oh, and get wasted.
Remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Monday, February 23, 2004
You're living a lie
Are you ready to delve into the deep dark past? Ready to search into a past so dark that the even Lemon Party is scared to go. A past so horrible that something lays there, for eons waiting for people like ourselves to wake it from it's immortal slumber. Are you ready to discover the truth fellow bloggers? Are you ready for the inevitable? Yea, neither are we.
A better idea I think would be to look at a much happier place, a place that's well lit that also has proper ventilation. Yes we're going to go into a much gentler history. Don't be fooled though! This history is just as fearful and horrible as the other history, only it doesn't have a being of pure evil waiting for us behind a giant onyx door.
Of course, this history that I speak of is unknown to most. And for a reason it was kept that way, hidden from the public, back in the time when we had no readers. Yes, it was a hard time for Lemon Party. Little known fact, we begun on September eleventh 2001. Odovaucer was so shocked after that update that he didn't update for another 2 years. Yes, it was the best of times and it was the worst of times.
And so we are going to delve into that history, into the gooey past with it's center of liquid chocolate. Don't get me wrong the past was delicious, but it was always something that I wanted to forget, and had actually done a good job at until a few days ago. See, Odovaucer and I were having our usual discussions about this and that. If I recall the topic that night was how much better we were than dead Romanian children. I can't remember, I'm not a doctor. Anyway, so we were talking and suddenly Odovaucer says "I do say Andrew, you should bring back your old feature" now before I continue I would just like to let you all know that my face was frozen in a look of horror, so anytime that I responded it involved quite a lot of drooling. Anyway being the respectable chap that he is, I asked him why... I believe that my exact words were something to the extent of: "Query why?" Of course those weren't my exact words. As if they were my exact words I would have said that they were. Now, as I said before there was quite a lot of drooling, so before he continued Odovaucer cleaned up his coffee table. "Andrew" he said "Andrew, we need something new and exciting, your commandments just aren't working out anymore."
What followed next was a lot of screaming and a lot of bloodshed. In the end Odovaucer got to the knife before me and so I agreed to revive my old feature. Much like the insane raise the dead for their own nefarious purposes, I too will raise my old article from it's hiding place in the past.
Of course that causes me to wonder why I abandoned it in the first place. Whether I was insane, or I just wrote like shit back then is still update for debate, feel free to vote if you want to.
I still haven't revealed to you what the mystery feature is, and so I will unveil it... or actually I won't. And you can either guess as to what it was from what I'm writing or go through the archives. Assuming that you're stilling following this you're probably of reasonable intelligence so you will more than likely be able to guess what it is. So without further delay, let's jump right into the entry.
I will be teaching you boys and girls, how to make a drunk update. And pay attention to this one, as a good drunk update can make or break your blog. A good drunk update includes drunken ramblings and misspellings. Remember, when you're drunk your inhibitions are lowered and you suddenly become too good to check your own spelling. So hopefully in the end we're left with a hilariously hilarious update full of hilarity. Like this:
SO I Was taLking to Sarah. And she said that Seh gould never love me! AND I WAS LIK WHAT?!?! I LOVED U BABY!! I DOTN:! GET ALL THSI BULSHIT ABUTR RON! I CANTE FUKIN STAND WOMNAN!!
Of course your update will be better, as the best updates spring from human misery, human misery being hilarious. And in case it wasn't obvious, I am not miserable. Quite the opposite. Anywho, this is what your update should not look like:
Sooooo I'm, drunk again. I wish that sarha would stop beating around the bush. I can't stand this, I can't. I'm probably going to regrett writing this in the mornin but I really loved her. I don't get why she doesnt' love me. Man, it hink itks just the booze talkin but Im alone for the fisrt time in my life. I love you sarah... I lovve you.
See that's bad. Very very bad. Get it through your head that there is only one reason to be drunk: to amuse us with your shitty misspellings and irrational anger. We read the depressed laid back stuff all the time and frankly, we're sick of it. Give us something angrier and more fun, and not angry like: MY ART TEACHER WON'T GIVE ME AN A!! BLARG!!! angry, I mean like FUCKASD KINCUTN RACHEL!!! UKC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! angry.
So, next time your drunk try and remember these simple tips. It'll lead to all of your readers being happier and probably humiliate you beyond any point where you might have still had dignity. In the end, we all win.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
In the Ghetto Now
It's occurred to me that racism is fun. Not just fun, but also awesome and perfectly acceptable. To say the least. I mean it allows me to despise people I've never even heard of, let alone met. It's really the negroes that get me though. I mean they're just so, so black.
But that's not a very lemony sentiment is it? No no no, The Party is about equality. Equality of hatred, but equality nonetheless. We'll hate whites, goths, punks, emo, brunettes, virgins, highschool students, artists, women, dancers, men, asians, athletes, teeny-boppers, plushies, furries, nerds, sluts, Congressmen, small business owners, kindergardeners, fat kids, pimps, and negroes and more. Just as long as they're stupid and run shitty blogs. That's the glory of this site, you see. Well that and the fact that we don't really hate you. We just think you have so much potential; you have real, worthwhile personalities thrust down below your idiocies. And we wish to evoke that more beautiful part of you. And so we shall, so we shall. But in the meantime, well I'm hoping you can figure out what's wrong with this picture. Yes, we're running a bit of gimmick here. The idea is that readers should have developed a sense of what's right and proper and what's...welll not. Feel free to give it a try with this handily pre-selected target. Some problems are obvious, some a little less so. Give it a look and feel free to comment your review here or there. Or email partyoflemon@hotmail.com with your most scathing.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Monday, February 16, 2004
Set Sail For Fun
A long time ago, I had a vision.
I saw, at my lunch table (not to be confused with my dinner table) as I ate lunch. And as I sat their eating my sandwich, there was a large flash of light, and then in all his eternal ethereal glory there stood Odovaucer. And he said to me: "Horney-Drew (my real name is Andrew, but Odovaucer in his eternal wisdom decreed that I should have a much stupider name)" he said "You must join the Party and join me in my eternal crusade against the unclean."
And the rest, as you know, was history.
Of course that's not the actual story, but when we're E-Internet celebrities, we'll need some sort of bible, so I thought that I'd put that up for your approval and ideas. So get your ideas in when you still can, when we're E-Internet celebrities we won't have time for you filthy unclean little people (We can however offer you salaried jobs as janitorial cleaners in the department of redundancy department. You'll be payed. - Odovaucer).
So get in while you can, this lucrative deal won't last long as The Party is on the celebrity fast track. As long as we're on the topic of lucrative deals, here's another: Tuesday is a two for one deal on bagels, bagels being the preferred food of The Party because they can not only be used for sandwiches, but are also delicious with jelly, butter, and cream cheese.
This of course brings me to the commandment part of the update, which has nothing to do with bagels at all, and instead, babies. Both of these words start with B because they have been grouped together in this update. If you find that strange don't blame me, blame bureaucracy (Also starts with B, coincidence, I think not). Anywho, somewhere out there is a man who is standing on a soap box foretelling the evils of soap boxes.
But just what does that mean? The clever reading might interpret that a few ways, one such way might be that there is hypocrisy in everyone but it is necessary to survive, others might take it to mean that those who speak loudest are also the most blind. It is neither of this. It is instead that everyone has an opinion about something or other, and despite how many times you tell them to shut up they'll state it anyway.
Some opinions are well founded and the people truly believe that they are arguing for a greater good, some are unfounded, some are just plain stupid.
Once again, we will be discussing none of these, we will instead be discussing about those flashes of insight that you have in the shower. That you feel EVERYONE has to hear about. God I am so sick of people telling me about things that they thought up in the shower. Unless you're a girl, in which case please tell me about it in depth as you stroked your soft supple body and moaned in pleasure as the warm water caressed your body...
Those thoughts aside, we still have a problem; You're an idiot.
However, as we at Lemon Party are caring and thoughtful individuals we won't hold that against you or your blog. I just have a problem when you turn your blog into a shitty forum for your shitty ideas. It's a weblog, not a god damned "I'm going to try and sound intelligent by proposing odd ideas that will make my friends ooh and ahh at how edgy I am". Get a soap box, don't be like this guy.
Yea sure jackass, let's eat babies. This is a new and exciting angle that certainly wasn't discussed anywhere before. It's also edgy enough to befit your name punkdudeguy. It's also new (not new) and exciting (stupid as fuck, same as you).
But why is it stupid? Why? Because you're stupid. Extremely stupid. Mind-numbingly stupid. Stupifyingly stupid.
Anyway, why is it stupid? Well, for those of you who need thoughts clearly put out, who need to know "where it's at", there is this: An idea which I just came up with to counteract your incredibly stupid idea.
Who's children will we eat? I'm certain that you don't want it to be yours, and if not yours, the man who thought up the new (NOT FUCKING NEW) and exciting (WHERE AM I!?!) idea, then who will be expected to? No mother ever wants to part with their child, plus it just fucks with human rights. Aborting fetuses is ok, aborting babies is ok, aborting 30 year old men is ok, where do we draw the line? Where Mr. SmartyPants?
As I was saying before Satan himself in all his unholy glory rose up out of the ground and sent forth his legion of minions to destroy New York:
Thou Shalt Not Turn Thy Blog Into A Forum To Post Thy Horrible Ideas
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Valentine's Day
Valentine's day, what a day.
Welcome to Lemon Party, the greatest party on earth. At this party there is no a need for your pathetic holidays, but as some readers have complained about certain things (let's not go into it, I could've sworn she was at least twelve), I have decided to do the Valentine's day update as part of my... whatever... let's just get on with it.
As I was saying, today (today) is Valentine's day. A day when magic is in the air, and air worms are in the ground. A day where dreams come true, and dreams are true. A day so wonderful that Frank L Caltrozen's cancer went into remission (That is a certifiable fact, by the way - Odovaucer). Ahhh yes, Valentine's day.
But this day isn't always the harbinger of joy, for some it marks pain beyond any known by anyone else. After all, how could other people understand the incredible pain that you go through on this day. Everywhere year because no one will ever love you, and you've never had a girlfriend, and you even had to send flowers to yourself to make your friends stop taunting you (It didn't work, did it? - Odovaucer). Yes, today is a horrible, horrible day.
On the other hand, you're a loser. So what the hell do we care?
Happy Valentine's Day from the Lemon Party crew!
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Friday, February 13, 2004
Jar Jar Binks Lives On
While Turtle07 spent months and months trying to figure out the essential rules of blogging, it only took me a few minutes.
1. Don't use numbers for your site adress (http://babygirl033085.blogspot.com/)
2. Don't suck entirely
3. Have a comment system unless you suck entirely
4. Don't plaigerise (too much)
5. Do update often
6. Make sure you can read your own blog, at it's actual site
7. Keep bitching/whining to less than 50% of your posts
8. Dont' be a hippocrit
9. Don't kick out people unless they act destructively against your site. (such as trying to delete it), but not for posting a bad post now and then.
10. That's all for now
Thursday, February 12, 2004
And I believe that God believes in Claude, that's me. That's me.
Today, I went to school.
I guess that isn't that interesting, although I am taking digital photography so I'm slowly learning photoshop. That's really good, because I really like the program and look forward to using it in the future. Plus there's almost no teacher interaction (which I guess could be a bad thing), so I'm just sitting there doing my own thing and learning at my own pace. Which is pretty fast, faster than most of the class at least. I'm 2 lessons ahead of a lot of them, and only 1 lesson ahead of a few. Although one person is a lesson ahead of me, so that's kinda making sad.
After digital photo I went to my speech therapist, which is good. My speech is getting better, it's slowing down and I'm also stuttering less (I think). Although today when driving there I was listening to the song "Billy Liar", which reminded me how much I needed a girlfriend.
I know that normally that song wouldn't remind me of such a thing, but I've just been really depressed lately and seeing Odovaucer and Leah together has made me really sad. I want someone of my own to hug and love, I just can't stand being alone.
Oh well, tomorrow's a bright new day (blargh).
My that was disgusting wasn't it? I felt dirty even writing that, while half it was true, it was still something horrible to write. In case you're curious about which half, it isn't the part involving me being sad and lonely...really...it's not. Anyway, besides all the sadness and sickening...sickening.... I don't fucking know, sickening whatever it was, it was true up until I started thinking about not having a girlfriend. Ok, yes, I did listen to the song "Billy Liar", but the only thing on my mind was "What a fucking pervert", see, he was watching the neighbors with his "knickers down". Daaaaaaamn.
That damn is also really fucking annoying, and now I feel dirty again. In case you weren't reading my previous entries that's one of those "I'm so cute" terms that people like to throw around, like da, dee (Actually I find it amusing when you put those two sounds together to get the appellation of the man who doesn't care what happens to you - Odovaucer), *sigh*, and props.
The only reason for that part of the update was to let you know that no matter how shitty my updates may get, whether because my hands are cold (for some reason that makes them worse), I'm tired, or just lazy they could always still be worse. You could be reading about my life as I talk about how depressed I am because Leah won't date me because of her shitty reason that she's "already dating someone else", what bullshit.
Ok, that statement was a lie, but I've been meaning to bring her into the update somehow and NOT call he a bride of Satan or something. So I'd say that I've not only successfully done that, but also not linked to her journal in the process. Oh oops.
Now you may be wondering, who the hell this Leah is, or why she merits a mention. Well, I'll tell you. Leah the girlfriend of Odovaucer, and while as unimportant as that is, I have gotten her blog address because of it (or through dark magic, you never know). Leah has gone so far as to, on certain occasions blatantly disregard a commandment and then post saying that she was doing it just to spite me. So that is why she is being mentioned, no other reason behind it. Plus it makes good filler.
surprisingly enough however this update is not about her journal, or about her at all. It's about my ears. My precious precious ears. And no, not my preciousssssss, I'm not a god damned river beast from the planet Neptune (or whatever the hell that thing is, and no, don't correct me, I don't care about your fruity obsessions with Gollum kissing Aragorn), I'm just a normal man with normal ideas. And one of those ideas is that I shouldn't have to listen to a cow being raped by a donkey (Yes that is physically impossible - Odovaucer). Is that too much to ask? IS IT?!
Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok
- ok
- ok
- ok
- ok
- ok
Good, now that we've gotten rid of all of the quitters I can tell you what I was talking about. What I'm talking about my good friends, are MIDI files. In case you're not interwebnation superhighway savvy, MIDI files are tiny files that play music that people put in web pages so that you too can hear a horrible quality rendition of their favorite rap song involving bitches, sluts, hos, and, just maybe, bling.
No, I don't want to hear your favorite song played in a continuous loop as I try to read your shitty poetry and you crying about your life without burning my speakers and then sending you a box of the ashes soaked in my own urine.
And NO, I do not enjoy the extra loading time it takes to load that file, nor do I enjoy all the errors I get because you have no fucking clue how to code a website
You people and your god damned "IT LOOKS SOOOO KEWL!@!@!!!! I MUST HAVE IT FOR MY BLOG", YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THE CODE, AND NO IT IS NOT COOL! STOP IT! JUST STOP IT NOW!
I HATE seeing a pop up box when I right click, or leave the site with something 'cute' like: plizzizle dun steal frum me! or: C U SOON BOI ~_*
I HATE having my pointer be replaced by a different pointer. I'm not talking about the OMG so cute sun pointers or whatever the hell fuzzy thing they like (which are also retarded), I'm talking about the normal pointer suddenly look like I'm resizing a box or something. There's a reason why that pointer is shown when you're resizing a box. It's to let you know that you're resizing something. No it's not cute, or cool, or even amusing. It's so retarded that I want to find and murder you.
Oh god, there are so many more things that I want to say about how much I hate and despise you, but I'll save that for another day.
Suffice to say adding music to your blog is retarded and stupid. If you need a reason to know why it's retarded and stupid then I suggest that you attempt to pierce your skull with a sharp pointy object.
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die:
Thou Shalt Not Add Music To Thine Blog
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
I am falling, I am fading, but at least I've got this nifty new duvet
It's come to my attention that not everyone uses blogs to write about why the "world hates me." So what do they write about? Well for one: "¡El mundo me odia!" And "Мир ненавидит меня!" and "Verdenen hater meg!" and "世界讨厌我!" and "Il mondo me odia!" or even "Die Welt haßt mich!" So what does that shit mean? You guessed it, "The world hates me!" Not speaking English is no excuse to let your pathetic whinings contaminate the interwebnationsuperhighway, my interwebnation superhighway. It's bad enough to see it in English, but when my job entails doing work to figure out just why you want my pity....It's enough for me to unzip my pants and cockslap the fucking monitor. That's right, I COCKSLAP MY MONITOR; IT'S JUST THAT FUCKING INFURIATING YOU GODDAMN SCAT SWAPPERS!
Thou shalt not publish thy blog in a foreign language.
Especially Arabic. What kind of fucking moron writes in Arabic on the interwebnation superhighway? You know John "Peeping Tom" Ashcroft is watching whatever you do out here, regardless of where you live. And John "Lost an election to a dead man" Ashcroft means business when it comes to Arabic speakers. He do his best to have you thrown into concentra-internment camps in Cuba where you do not receive the benefits of the "Constitution" (ot that you do in the Continental US, but that's another John "Only Two Amendments" Ashcroft story altogether). Guilt or innocence just doesn't matter to John "Big Brother" Ashcroft. So write in God's favorite tongue (English) or don't write at all. Fag.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
New Feature and don't delete
I haven't announced this fellow as a LemonParty staff member. That's because he isn't. He has posting rights, but he has not yet become a member of the community, he has not yet developed the necessary prerequisites; he has not yet proven himself to his elders. In fact his position here is tenuous to say the least. The details of his writing arrangement can be found here - Odovaucer
Its the newest freature of them all, thats right I spelled it freature, when it's supposed to be spelled feature, fuck you turtle07,
Moving on now, this new feature is to talk about stuff, that is interesting and unboring, such as why Al Gore is turtle07:
#1 Did you ever notice that you have never seen them together... I haven't seen them together either.
#2 Did you ever get the feeling that turtle07's post where not bipartisan.
#3 Did you know that both Al Gore and turtle07 like pickles on their pizza.
#4 Both Al Gore and turtle07 are the devil's and evil alter-ego Kate's son
#5 They both have hair
#6 They have both claimed to have invented the internet
#7 They both live in the basement and grow really long beards, and then cut them off.
#8 They both have a tendency to lose their home state when running for office
Myth:
turtle07 is a good kind person
Fact:
turtle07 is in fact Al Gore the demon spawn of all evil
Myth:
turtle07 doesn't eat children
Fact:
Al Gore (turtle07) is known for his apitite for young human males
Myth:
turtle07 is not power hungry
Fact:
He is and he will even stoop to supporting Dean to get some attention
You've compared the Facts and the Myths, and the other stuff and have probably come to a conclusion, Al Gore is turtle07 and vice-versa.
If you did not then you are really really stupid.
And don't delete me or elseLemon Party,
is bound to lose a good person, and I won't be your friend anymore
Oh no please don't, or Why you should not delete me
I know I haven't been that good of a poster, but I feel that my posts are better than those of Carverbuns, actually just one post in particular about the writers at LemonParty, which I feel never got enough attention, as the comment system was down when I posted it. So here are some reasons to why I shouldn't be deleted...
#1 That 1 good post that I wrote.
#2 My comment was one of the best, and the response that it spurred was also hilarious.
#3 You really shouldn't have posted the draft on Thursday, as it wasn't ready.
#4 I make catchy phrases up like "What's in the box" or "All the writers are assholes except for Carverbuns who is a fag.
#5 I provide a good substitute to the usually posts.
#6 If you keep on training me to be good, instead of just deleting me, I will eventually fulfill your requirements.
#7 I have no place else to go.
#8 I change the usual endings around to be more creative.
#9 I made up a song about it...
Oda Oda Odavaucer please
Please don't delete me
If you don't do it
you won't regret it a bit
I know this song sucks
A word that starts with f and ends with ucks is firetrucks
[Holy Crap Holy Crap
I know that I can trap
An evil racoon in the night Chorus *2
But its alright, alright
Something smells like doo
I think that it is on my shoe]
What's with all these guys
Staring in my eyes
Eyes is like the most overused word in a song
And song rhymes with thong,
Girls should wear thongs more commonly
Why would someone want to wear a thong anyway
So listen and listen and Clap your hand
Im with the guys in the band
I know that if I do it
I know that I can do it
What the crap is on my hand
Chorus*2
Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap
Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap
Just because you hate
Doesn't mean that you have to starve yourself
Chorus*2
Don't Delete Meee
Oh please Don't Delete Meee
I know you dont wanna delete meee
so dont delete meee
I'll even sing this song for you if you
dont delete me
ill say it one more time
dont delete me
ill say it two more times
dont delete me
dont delete me
ill say it three more times
don't delete me
don't delete me
don't delete me
#10 I'll make up a great poem about it
Don't hesitate to not delete me
On sunday
Please...
If you delete me you abandon me forever.
#11 Carverbuns is a fag.
#12. It's less work to not delete me, if you want I'll even put the header that you put on all my posts, so you don't have to work as much.
#13 What's the harm in letting me post.
#14 If you let me stay, I'll give you a dollar.
#15 I have this really good post written on why people should eat less,
Here's a preview:
Because you become fat, you stupid ugly fat slob. All your friends are lying when they tell you that you're skinny, take a look in the mirror fatass.
Of course not of that should be taken seriously, as I was just kidding... Stop throwing up in the toilet.
And remember that you shouldn't delete me since I have good reasons for staying at ,Lemon Party
and its easier for you not to delete me.
(Also if you don't delete me, I'll do something reasonable for you, which would be funny.)
Monday, February 09, 2004
Show Desktop
I stand before you readers, a bitter and broken man. As of about 4 minutes ago my MSN instant messenger started going on the fritz, it's been logging on and off for those past 4 minutes. I don't use it for much chatting as I don't have many friends on MSN, instead I make use of the feature where you can just click a button and check your email, no password required. Ahh, a life of luxury.
Unfortunately, Trillian, a useful multiple client program which should look like this:
Instead looks like this:
As the Spanish would say: Que Shockando (that's Spanish for what shock)
Now if you were Spanish, which I am not. You would know that I'm lying about shock being shockando, in a perfect world shock would be shockando, but in this inferior world, we'll just have to deal with whatever dumb word the Mexicans have come up with it. Probably Shockolokodoo or Shakando, god, what fuckheads.
So I lied, whatever, that's not the problem. The problem is that Trillian is showing only that one globe. Oh the insanity. I fear for my life friends, as I am at my witz end (you can tell that I'm serious because I used a Z instead of an S, that's a tip, kidz, write it down). Now as I see it, I have only two options.
- Kill Myself
- Not Kill Myself
I have of course, chosen the latter, for those of you who can't read and so wouldn't be reading this sentence anyway but I'm going to point it out all the same because I'm on a power trip, that means that I'm not going to kill myself. However, that still does not solve the problem of my fritzy MSN logging on and off.
Anyway... I'm not sure where I'm going with this (I say that a lot don't I?), but it certainly wasn't to the store... which is now closed, because as you can see in those pictures, it's late.
But fear not loyal readers, it is not late enough for me to make a commandment and a few harsh words. My previous update, which I'm sure all of you read was that you shouldn't add stupid and useless JavaScript frills, like the text next to the mouse, changing the mouse, disabling right clicking... the like. Anyway, I hate you.
Ask yourselves though, what happens when someone doesn't listen to that commandment and loads their page full of JavaScript frills? Well, you'd probably have a rather ugly page that took a while to load if you were on 56k (loser). Eventually of course, the JavaScript coding would grow sentient and begin to mate. And when that happens, you are left with this.
Now I don't mean to be rude, but I can't read your shitty site, text seems to randomly scroll around the page (abusing the marquee tag = you're a horrible person who should die), the entries move around the page randomly, and there's a god damned clock hovering around the cursor. Thanks a lot! Who the fuck needs a watch when you have that site? Lord knows that I don't have a watch on my wrist, a clock in my room and a clock on my computer. But what if you don't own a watch, or a clock, or even a god damned pair of pants? Well you're still using a computer, and most OS happen to have a clock somewhere on screen, so I'm sure you'll survive. Plus without pants woman will see your massive penis and perform sexual favors on you for free.
Ok, look the point that I'm trying to make is this:
One JavaScript frill is fine and happy and dandy and if done well can make your site happier
Two JavaScript frills is still happy, but not quite so dandy. However, like 1, if done well it can make your site like sex
Three JavaScript frills is a lot, and knowing you they're probably going to be shitty ones, still, if done well it can make your site awesome
Four+ JavaScript frills is probably more than you need, and more than likely you're abusing them like fuck. Now, like the previous ones I'm not trying to say that JavaScript frills are Sucky McSuckster, but if they aren't done well (after looking over God knows how many Xangas it appears that people are incapable of not destroying their sites), then it sucks more than a toothless chinese hooker.
Shitheads:
Thou Shalt Not Stuff Thy Pasty Face Full Of Useless JavaScript Code Because It Looks 'Kewl'
Authors Note: This update is disjointed, but that's only because i'm lazy and I feel the need to (hopefully) start pumping one of these out each day(the end of that portion of the sentence didn't make any sense to the start of it, as those items are not related... at least not in this case), that is of course assuming that other people don't post. The real reason for it's disjointedness is that I'm tired, and it's late, and I hate you all so very very much.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
What's in the box?
ATTENTION LEMON PARTY READERS! This is dfjawioeraiod's final week of Lemon Party posting. His presence has begun to bore me and he has to bring me anywhere near the amusement I had hoped. So it is my sad duty to delete him. On Sunday, February 15, 2093. So say your goodbyes everyone.
I haven't announced this fellow as a LemonParty staff member. That's because he isn't. He has posting rights, but he has not yet become a member of the community, he has not yet developed the necessary prerequisites; he has not yet proven himself to his elders. In fact his position here is tenuous to say the least. The details of his writing arrangement can be found here - Odovaucer
Fellow readers and readees, it has become aware to me that it is no longer safe to know what's in the box, therefore here are some ideas at what exactly is in it...
1. Nothing, that's right you wasted all your time picking the box to get nothing, don't you feel stupid.
2. Large Caeser Salad, at least its better than nothing, especially if you're on a diet.
3. One American Dollar
4, A jigsaw puzzle
5. And my personal favorite, a 10:1 scale model of the galaxy M64
And remember some stuff
But then forget it..
Friday, February 06, 2004
Kneel Before Zod
To whom it may concern,
Lemon Party is a site. A very special site. This site can grant wishes! It's true! I tried it and now I'm in a large mansion with large furniture, and I have a wife with large breasts. Everything I have ever wanted and more has been fulfilled because I let Lemon Party grant me a wish. It can work for you too! Here's how it works:
First, think of your most favorite thing in the world, now that you've got that in your mind scroll down for further instructions
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Good! Now, think of your dream palace. Got it? Good!
Now think of your crush. Got it?
Scroll down more to figure out how!
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Now! Send the link www.lemonparty.org to ten people in the next hour and those things will come true. If you don't you'll suffer 1 billion years bad luck being anally violated by our very own Odovaucer.
I don't know why I wrote that, suffice to say it's bizarre and poorly written, but then again so are most chain letters and chain IMs. Here's an idea, next time they send you a chain letter written by a dead girl foretelling your doom, drive over to their house (assuming that you know them) and start beating them screaming "WHO'S THE DEAD ONE NOW!?!?"
I mean think about it, if everyone who listened to us started beating up their friends, they'd go to jail. Hopefully their friends would have broken hands and would be unable to use a keyboard. So I mean we all win, those who are stupid enough to send those things and those who are stupid enough to listen to us probably won't be coming back for at least a few weeks. And in that time we can finally do things that smart people like to do. Like play chess, or smoke pipes while discussing the American economy using abrupt phrases like "Yes" and "Quite".
A conversation may look something like this:
Odovaucer: I do say turtle_07, but the American economy has gone downhill since Clinton left office
Carverbuns: Yes
Dfjawioeraiod: Durrrrr
turtle_07: Quite so Odovaucer, poor fools don't know when to leave the country and buy drug plantations in Mexico.
As you can see the world would be a much better place... I think.
Of course this brings me to the actual commandment portion of this update, don't do drugs.
Honestly though, one of the many things that I'll NEVER understand about blogs is the fact that people feel the need to change the pointer to something hideous, or imbed a MIDI file, or even make it impossible to right click. Hey shitheads, when you make it so that I can't right click with a little pop up box that tells me that you're sad that I would try and steal my work, you need to get a god damned brain. If I WANTED to steal your precious writing (which I can't say that I ever would, you don't even spell check you worthless waste of flesh) I could simply highlight, Ctrl-C (copy) and Ctrl-V (paste). Holy shit! You ever think of that? Or if I'm feeling very vindictive maybe I'll save the entire page, go into the source and remove that little waste of JavaScript and then email you a picture of me right clicking on your precious little blog!
Ok that actually wasn't very vindictive at all... and it was kinda stupid. But imagine it, now you're someone with a subpar intelligence who believes that taking away my ability to right click will make it impossible for me to see the properties of a picture or the ability to copy and paste text, and suddenly you discover that not only am I right clicking, my mouse is also highlighting the "copy" option. You'd probably shit your pants right then and there, I could only be a haxx0r of the highest caliber to do that. Especially when the god damned source code points out what each thing is. Christ you're stupid.
Or...
If you don't send this to 15 people you will:
Thou Shalt Not Add Useless JavaScript Frills
Edit: I have just haxx0red his blog, this is my evidence. To all those who claim that it's just a photoshop becuase there is no mouse try making a screen shot using printscreen, assuming that you're using windows XP (don't know if it shows the mouse on previous versions) it shouldn't show the mouse... at least it didn't for me. Anyway, I just thought that I'd let you all know how awesome I am.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
17 is not 16
Before I begin this update, I must first talk about the general reaction to the Party. Some would see this as a beginning to the update, I however must disagree with them. No, I will not go into the details of why I disagree. Needless to say, I am a man of constant sorrow. Or was it many sorrows? You know, that all seems unimportant now. Important or unimportant, asinine or genius, I think that we can all agree on one thing: the fact that I am writing this update.
Whether or not I'm writing this update many of you still seem to hold a deep resentment of us, whether it's the fact that you're jealous of our good looks, or the fact that you don't like that we insult blogs doesn't matter. What matters is that you don't like us and that makes me feel sad. That said, I believe that the reason why very few of you like the Party is because we got off on the wrong foot. So, like in those delightfully charming romantic comedies where the main character says that he did his first introduction completely wrong and tries again, and then the attractive and smart female lawyer or something laughs and they hug each other until the sun comes up, so too will I try that.
I think that we got off on the wrong foot, lets try again. My name's Lemon Party, has anyone ever told you that you have very beautiful eyes?
(skip forward five hours)
GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT
Ok ok, I'll admit that was cheap and stupid... but I stand by it! Or in front of it, I guess it just depends on how my computer screen is set up. Which I suppose is unimportant (there's that word again!) in the grand scheme of things. Speaking of grandness, that halo of light that sorta floats around my head? Yea, well it seems that causes cancer... soooooo... I guess that you might want to see a doctor soon or something.
I'm not really sure where this is going, and I'm almost positive that it can't be a good place. So let's just move on.
Homedogs, brohans, and bitches. There has been a horrible trend, the human language is slowly becoming replaced by a more efficient (and much stupider) version of itself.
The sentence: "Not going to the mall was a major let down, I had really be looking forward to seeing my friends" is turned into "I didn't get to go to the mall *is sad*"
The words you, your (you're), because, through, and god knows how many others have been turned into: u, ur (ur), cuz, thru, and other such horrible monstrosities.
Complex human emotions are bottled into friendly little ASCII 'faces'
Simple words like "me" and "the" have been turned into mah and teh because people think that they're " teh trendy"
The invention of copy and paste has made plagiarism easy and fun
This disgusting soup has worked it's way into blog society, SuM PeEPz rIT LiKe DIs Al Da tYMe & nO1 CARez LOL, and I for one find it disgusting. However, unlike Odovaucer, I am not a man with unreachable dreams. (What's so unreachable about DVDA? - Odovaucer) I realize that these people will not change, and trying to talk to them would be similar to removing ones organs with a dog. That last statement made no sense, much like them. I don't ask for much people, but please... spell check.
I don't mean spellcheck like you have to write ALL of your update in Microsoft word, I understand that you write a blog and as such probably don't want go through the effort of copying and pasting it. Although it's not that much effort, I can still understand why you wouldn't want to. What I ask is that you catch your problems before you join the masses of manchildren huddling in huts discussing about how everyone who doesn't like ICP is a fagg0rt. When you see an obvious problem, please, fix it. When you see a becuase, when you see a adn, and when you see a yuo. Just fix them, it's not like I'm asking you to spell ridiculous correctly (which in itself would be ridiculous). I'm just asking that you try and keep more of the obvious misspellings to a minimum. (I'm wearing pants - Odovaucer) Especially when your entry is two lines long. This isn't that hard people, there are buttons on your keyboard that will send your cursor back spaces so that you can correct these (penis - CarverBuns) problems.
LOL ComMandMANtz R 4 FaGzz:
Thou Shalt Fix Thy Obvious Misspellings
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party. (Ok, I was kidding back there about the pants - Odovaucer)
Because your blog sucks.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Wake Up Number Twenty-Seven
Contrary to popular belief I am not dead. Yes, popular belief is a double entendre. No, I don't mind that you have to go look that up. Yes, I realise this is not actually a conversation. No, I don't care. No, I don't care that it looks strange when I randomly use the British spelling. Yes, this style is beginning to irritate even me.
Right, so anyway, I'm here to tell you that I am still alive. I haven't posted here in a while for a variety of reasons. First and foremost is my ADD. *Sob* No one understands the pain, oh woe is me, woe is me. *Cries* No I don't have ADD. I've just been fucking lazy. My bad. Whatever. But something else is going on. Lemon Party is growing a sister site. You see, with the demise of Goatse I have come to realize that nothing is permanent; everything is ephemeral. Life itself is fleeting, how can the internet be anything but evanescent? (By the way that link is work safe. You have nothing to fear from that site as it has been taken off the internet.) Anyway, the "other" site will be similar in essence, but different in mechanics. I would go into further details, but I have been sworn to silence by a mysterious entity known by the maddeningly anonymous identification of "J. W. Bobbit."
However, just to let you know that I have indeed been paying attention to the enemy, that is to say shitty blogs, I present to you the following. I have jumped on the bandwagon, the survey craze that is sweeping the blogging community. It is an infuriating little number, describing yourself using only the songs of a favorite musical group or performer. Unsurprisingly there is a whole lot of Bright Eyes, Weezer, Pixies, and Dashboard Confessional. I, however, will now show you how to make a survey response great.
Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: Scatman John
Are you female or male:: Scatman
Describe yourself:: Scatman
How do some people feel about you:: Scatman
How do you feel about yourself:: Scatman
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: Scatman
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: Scatman
Describe where you want to be:: Scatman
Describe what you want to be:: Scatman
Describe how you try live:: Scatman
Describe how you love:: Scatman
Share a few words of wisdom:: Scatman
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Once I built a railroad
Ok people, here's the deal. Now I KNOW that the last update wasn't up to par with my usual updates. I mean I try, and I try, and I realize that I can't be funny all the time. But I try, and I certainly don't appreciate it when people come up to me on the street and randomly and start screaming things like: "HEY TURTLE_07 YOUR BLOG SUCKS MAD BALLS!!" or "turtle_07 you couldn't find funny with a funny finding device attached to your brain!" I mean I fucking try people, and I don't really like it when people come up to me on the street complaining. I'd like to see you be as funny as me, or as often.
Now I realize that some people might question if we even HAVE enough readers to warrant that happening, some of you might point out that if we have so many readers (which of course you'll say we don't) then why do we have so few comments? Well, to be honest, you're stupid. Very stupid. So stupid in fact that you thought to question my previous statement, as you can see my clever retort has left you without backing and with mental cane marks on your backside. Run home little boy, or I may be forced to insult your mother!
Anyway, as I was going to say before I called you a retard, you're very stupid. That's right, you, the viewers, are stupid. If you weren't stupid you wouldn't be reading this because you would already know how to write a successful blog. Full of success and not retarded angst with some linkin park lyrics. "So today my girlfriend left me to go out with Jimmy :((( I SURE AM SAD!! SAD SAD SAD!! Now I'll never find love ever again. It reminds me of my favorite linkin park song..." Anyway you get the point. The point being that I hate you, a lot.
I hate the fact that you make blatant misspellings
I hate the fact that you can't seem to write one god damned entry without the little "sad" emoticon at the top
I hate the fact that you also can't write a coherent sentence to save your life
I hate the fact that you use ASCII emoticons
I hate the fact that you use those god awful emotion sentences
I hate the fact that you use god damned words like "mah", "moi", "pwease", and random words from foreign languages (normally Japanese, as anime is popular these days)
And I hate the fact that you think that it's fucking cute.
In conclusion: I hate you.
But before I end the entry on a horribly unpositive note full of hate and... well just hate. Just try for a moment to look at this from my point of view. I live a life cursed to see these things and to have them send me into fits of rage. When I read my friends livejournals the bile in my throat rises and I am often reduced to a quivering broken man as I clutch my sides in pain.
Ok so I don't clutch my stomach in pain as I read blogs... but you get the point. It's annoying, it's infuriating, don't fucking do it! But what is this 'it' I speak of? What is this elusive idea that this metaphorical sentence speaks of. What is it? How does one acquire it? And most importantly, how does one lose it? It my friends, is nonexistent. It's everything about blogs and journals that I hate. One cannot actually lose it, as it is not there to lose. It is just something... well many things that drive me into a blind rage. My opinion, no one else's. If your friends can stomach your stupidity... then perhaps I can too. However for the sake of the update let's just pretend that this paragraph never happened.
Anyway, before the bile began rising and I clutched my stomach in pain I had a point. As I was saying in my Unholy List Of Hate (TM), I hate those god damned made up words that you think make you look cute. The moi (when you're not french), the mah, the pwease, the da, and the god damned anime quotes with victory eyes or whatever the fuck it is that they call it these days. You're not Japanese and saying phrases in Japanese that mean things like "peace out" is not amusing or cute. I don't fucking know Japanese and I don't want to know Japanese. I'm very happy being an uncultured American slob and I don't need some para-human bastardizing the English language with phrases like "So I went out wit mah peepz to the mall and I bought a pretty dress ^_^ KAWAII!!!" Did you fail every single English course that you were in you god damned reject. If I ever want to read your blog I'm not going to start looking up Japanese words because you saw some giant breasted thirteen year old in an anime say that about a necklace that let her turn into a magical girl. God damnit you people need to be smacked.
I was going to say here but I forgot what... oh yea!
Moi is a super happy kawaii nekochan!!*
*For those of you that don't hang out with me often and so you don't get my quirks (Yea, quirks... sure... or maybe you're just really really stupid) that means: Thou Shalt Not Bastardize The English Langauge.
And on a final note: I guess that I've still got a few good commandments left in me before I find something new to move onto.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.