Set Sail For Fun
A long time ago, I had a vision.

I saw, at my lunch table (not to be confused with my dinner table) as I ate lunch. And as I sat their eating my sandwich, there was a large flash of light, and then in all his eternal ethereal glory there stood Odovaucer. And he said to me: "Horney-Drew (my real name is Andrew, but Odovaucer in his eternal wisdom decreed that I should have a much stupider name)" he said "You must join the Party and join me in my eternal crusade against the unclean."

And the rest, as you know, was history.

Of course that's not the actual story, but when we're E-Internet celebrities, we'll need some sort of bible, so I thought that I'd put that up for your approval and ideas. So get your ideas in when you still can, when we're E-Internet celebrities we won't have time for you filthy unclean little people (We can however offer you salaried jobs as janitorial cleaners in the department of redundancy department. You'll be payed. - Odovaucer).

So get in while you can, this lucrative deal won't last long as The Party is on the celebrity fast track. As long as we're on the topic of lucrative deals, here's another: Tuesday is a two for one deal on bagels, bagels being the preferred food of The Party because they can not only be used for sandwiches, but are also delicious with jelly, butter, and cream cheese.


This of course brings me to the commandment part of the update, which has nothing to do with bagels at all, and instead, babies. Both of these words start with B because they have been grouped together in this update. If you find that strange don't blame me, blame bureaucracy (Also starts with B, coincidence, I think not). Anywho, somewhere out there is a man who is standing on a soap box foretelling the evils of soap boxes.

But just what does that mean? The clever reading might interpret that a few ways, one such way might be that there is hypocrisy in everyone but it is necessary to survive, others might take it to mean that those who speak loudest are also the most blind. It is neither of this. It is instead that everyone has an opinion about something or other, and despite how many times you tell them to shut up they'll state it anyway.

Some opinions are well founded and the people truly believe that they are arguing for a greater good, some are unfounded, some are just plain stupid.

Once again, we will be discussing none of these, we will instead be discussing about those flashes of insight that you have in the shower. That you feel EVERYONE has to hear about. God I am so sick of people telling me about things that they thought up in the shower. Unless you're a girl, in which case please tell me about it in depth as you stroked your soft supple body and moaned in pleasure as the warm water caressed your body...

Those thoughts aside, we still have a problem; You're an idiot.

However, as we at Lemon Party are caring and thoughtful individuals we won't hold that against you or your blog. I just have a problem when you turn your blog into a shitty forum for your shitty ideas. It's a weblog, not a god damned "I'm going to try and sound intelligent by proposing odd ideas that will make my friends ooh and ahh at how edgy I am". Get a soap box, don't be like this guy.

Yea sure jackass, let's eat babies. This is a new and exciting angle that certainly wasn't discussed anywhere before. It's also edgy enough to befit your name punkdudeguy. It's also new (not new) and exciting (stupid as fuck, same as you).

But why is it stupid? Why? Because you're stupid. Extremely stupid. Mind-numbingly stupid. Stupifyingly stupid.

Anyway, why is it stupid? Well, for those of you who need thoughts clearly put out, who need to know "where it's at", there is this: An idea which I just came up with to counteract your incredibly stupid idea.

Who's children will we eat? I'm certain that you don't want it to be yours, and if not yours, the man who thought up the new (NOT FUCKING NEW) and exciting (WHERE AM I!?!) idea, then who will be expected to? No mother ever wants to part with their child, plus it just fucks with human rights. Aborting fetuses is ok, aborting babies is ok, aborting 30 year old men is ok, where do we draw the line? Where Mr. SmartyPants?

As I was saying before Satan himself in all his unholy glory rose up out of the ground and sent forth his legion of minions to destroy New York:

Thou Shalt Not Turn Thy Blog Into A Forum To Post Thy Horrible Ideas



And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Andrew @ 9:13 PM