I typed this title with just my pinkies
Isn't it funny how the most bitter horrible of us are really the meekest of the bunch?

My name is turtle_07 (Andrew) and I have a problem. I hate too much. Everyday I try to be a nicer person, and I try to make people happy but sometimes I just can't stop myself and I will come here looking to bash people because I think that I'm better than them. That's not true at all. I have my own share of problems, I have my own share of secrets. I can't go on living this lie any longer, I will never feel better until I come clean and reveal all. The infection is spreading and I... I think that it's time that I end it all.

By it all, I meant my pants. Which have now been ended.

Good, on to the actual update. That part not being the actual update. If it were the actual update I probably would have insulted you, and since I did not we can only assume that it was not in the update and instead some sort of witty paragraph that's up there only for your amusement and happiness. LAUGH DAMN YOU LAUGH!

Ok, that part sucked. But this part won't. HONEST!

Ok, that part sucked. But THIS part won't.

Ok, fuck those last two parts, this part is where it's at dude.

Shit, this is going nowhere slowly. It's as if you boarded a train and instead of moving anywhere, they just shot you. Which would totally suck... kind of like this update. See, at Lemon Party we can also insult ourselves. We're just that god. No, I didn't mean to say good, I meant to say god. Which is sacrilegious. Kind of like us.

ENOUGH WITTY BANTER! BRING ON THE SEX!

I don't actually mean sex, because if I did then I wouldn't be so lonely. So lonely...

Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by myself. I didn't mean sex, I meant XES, which is like sex only written backwards and in all caps. Why I did not simply write "BRING ON THE XES" I'm not sure. The point is that I have something to say, and so damnit I'll say it!


Anywho, this update wasn't meant to be anything profound. As most profound things are very stupid, probably because you're stupid. So if I make one point in this update. It's that you should not post profound things in your blog as people have already thought the exact same thing and have been able to put it into words so beautiful that if you were ever to read those words your head would explode.

In case it wasn't obvious by the links, one of the things that I read more than anything else in blogs are the ever so wonderful "People are stupid horrible creatures" posts. I mean Jesus Christ people, get something new to bitch about. We've heard it a million times before and no you're not impressing anyone by trying to distinguish yourself from the rest of the human race. You'll die in a gutter, cold and alone and none of your life will amount to anything. Please, for the love of God stop acting like you see and know how it is and you're above that. If there is one thing that I can't stand are those shitheads that try and distinguish themselves from the rest of us [Also see: Punk, Hot Topic, Indie, Homosexuality (kidding)]. Guess what, you were born one of us and you'll die one of us and stating the obvious won't suddenly exempt you from judgment. (By one of us he means a member of the human race: we don't want you indentified with us, but to a certain degree we are similiar. You are technically human, though we wish Darwin's theories had operated a bit more successfully on your forebears. You're just far less intelligent than the Lemon Party staff. And less pretty. And you have no use other than as a target for our rage. - Odovaucer)

You disgust me:

Thou Shalt Not Post Pseudo-Intellectual Babble About The 'Truth'



And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.

(Note: The title is entirely true)
- posted by Andrew @ 3:58 PM