Lemon Party
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
I lied.
Okay, not exactly. Today I did post what is likely to be my final message to little miss skippy. As you can see, she has received truly towering accolades.
Unfortunately she is unlikely to respond until tommorrow. Which, as we all know, is merely a single day away. But enough of that! Let us return to the by no means small matter of my vestments. Today I am wearing pants. Okay, that's a lie. Actually I'm wearing hosues. And I have more reader respones to the glory that is hosues.
Captain Naked 04: brb
jack me yerh off: well i cant tell someone i dont know what i think about hosues
cowzertraz: hot
quillbrotherhood: Most definitely!
blaizeosuave: i wear them*
Magic Insomniac: I love them
Magic Insomniac: to pieces
frenzy526: Damn, its good to be a Ninja.
RageButterfly04: Sleeping, gaming, cleaning, waiting for news about my car--the exciting life of a Cady
blaizeosuave: ay fucker
blaizeosuave: whats a hosues
jack me yerh off: the fag plays everquest with all the other fags
samsara613: downloading videos of girls stripteasing and playing them muted and play your favorite songs simultaneously.
LowTackz: I'm a fan myself!
ViO13ntSk4nk3R: TELL ME UR NAME**
That seems like a pretty strong response, but I wasn;t satisfied. So my next step was to enter a Direct Connect Hub and pose my question. Here are some of the respones.
l33td00d: wut
velocityJE: hosues wtf
l33td00d: I THINK HOSUES ARE SHIT
l33td00d: FUCK HOSUES
l33td00d: if you use hosues UR A FAGGOT
[SA]Fagtrot: what are hosues? is that like pinku?
l33td00d: my hosues must have 4 kotoba
[SA]Fagtrot: iis that japanese for hoes?????
velocityJE: HOSUES ARE FOR COMMU*NIST FAGGOTS
Bozz: i have strong opinions hosues, Odovaucer
Bozz: what would you like to know about them?
velocityJE: i'll share 5 gigs of shit porn you goddamn homo and youll download it all and like it
titaniumone: i am so shut up xel :(((((
Bozz: are you still looking for the houses?
Odovaucer: No, hosues.
velocityJE: these chicks dont even know the name of my band
l33td00d: NEERRRRBODY IN DA HUB GETTIN STRONG HOSUES
velocityJE: if anybody here has strong opinions hosues please meet me at high noon
l33td00d: ALL UR HOSUES ARE BELONG TO US
Bozz: my strong opinion on it would be this
Bozz: dont buy them
Bozz: aren't worth the money
All in all, I'm not quite sure how to interpret this response. Seems there is a fair amount of ambivalence amongst the Direct Connecters. Ultimately it's not my problem. I'm still going to be dressed to kill in vintage hosues.*** Oh yeah.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be
Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
*I was rather surprised at this particular response as I did not in fact inform her that hosues were an article of clothing. I can only take it as a sign that the hype is getting out.
**Once again, all these quotations are actual responses. No words have been put in their mouths.
***Actually I don't know if they can be considered technically vintage. I'm not hip to the whole fashion scene. But a man can dream can he not?
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
LOL DRAMA
I've decided to stop wearing pants. From now on, hosues are the only apparel for me. Let's look at the reader response to that which is hosues. I asked these individuals for their opinions on hosues. Here's what they said.
d34thk1tt3n: hot
lewisbcrazy: wtf are hosues?
RageButterfly04: what're hosues?
SmarterChild: That's a fine question, but I can't really be sure.
dekoy269: who are u
backattheend: that depends on whether or not my asbestos body works or just causes cancer
krazygal2006: Tumbling, then going to the new driver's house-rachel. Be back by midnight. Cell's on, give a ring. 410 236 1882. So long.
sXyGrLpRiNceSs69: Very hot! ;-)
lewisbcrazy: hot
EatDrinkNbMary86: well i could go either way, depending on my mood
SmarterChild: What do you think is the answer?
EatDrinkNbMary86: right now i'm going to say hot
staydangerous15: i have no idea what that is
SmarterChild: Amazing!
>>> You can set my font and colors! Check it out by typing "colors."
I R Teh Awsum111: I am of the steadfasr opinion that hosues are quite the hot commodity.
staydangerous15: i guess i'd be interested
RageButterfly04: those are usually hot?
backattheend: sure
dekoy269: great, who are u
SmarterChild: I can't find "hosu" in the dictionary. Try one of these:
1 hos
2 hose
3 Host
4 hosp
5 host
Type "more" to see more suggestions for "hosu."
spiderdrakee: god I'm getting fat*
And there you have it. Hosues are the next big thing. Get yours today! But I was going to talk about something else today. O hay, blogs.
Last week we mentioned that this young lady failed to respond to my ever so innocent survey. Either she hasn't noticed it or it simply includes too many words she doesn't understand. However this should not convince she's not a source of comedy. As an experiment I have corrected the entire thread's spelling and grammar. I found it an amusing experiment.
Tommorow will be denouement for dearest skippy.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
*Some elements of these conversations have been withheld, but no one has been misquoted.
Friday, June 25, 2004
If Cow Tells You to Jump Over the Moon After You've Been A-Suckling at Its Teat Then It Probably Means You're Going to Die
When last we conversed* we did some comment posting. Some readers emailed me at OdovaucerOstrogoth@hotmail.com to tell me that they didn't really that gimmickry. Well they're right in a certain sense: this was not broad farce. As you may remember we kept it simple (stupid) with just "Odovaucer" and "Anonymous" and did not create anything outlandish. Well gimmickry isn't always as glamorous as one might think. Sure you could post "Cry me a river, liberal," in every single blog on the net but you wouldn't get nearly enough responses to justify your efforts. Not that we did particularly well on Wednesday. The links return:
1. I received a rather noncommittal response. I replied, leaving my cover** unaltered. I did, however, spell everything right, just for shits and giggles. I doubt she'll notice the difference, indeed she strikes me as having an IQ in the mid seventies. I've been wrong before, though, just not very often.
2. Ah the famed "beandiddly." That was sardonic and sarcastic. AT TEH 54M3 TIME!!!!111eleventyyyyieieie. Why do I bother? Anyway, if you clicked the link you'll be sadly disappointed as it does not lead to any tangible image of my handiwork. Okay, that just made tonight fun for me; thanks you guys. The second link should be fine though. Go ahead and click, it has my blessing. (And mine - turtle_07) You'll see that there is, in fact, no entry to see there. Oh my bad. But wait, if you go to his main page you will see that there is in fact an entry there. But it's "Friends Only." If you didn't catch Wednesday's update on time you'll never be able to see my words of wisdom. You should have the basic idea though. He was whining about the possibility of a sibling's friends reading his blog.*** So I reviled him anonymously in generic terms. I didn't even question the veracity of his mother's claim that she had never performed any of a long list of assorted unsavory practices with a goat. I was nice!
Anyway, let's look at his actions objectively. He got insulted. People confident in their intellectual capabilities would try to slug back. Your average blogger would. Would lose. Oh! But no retreats. So he knows he's a fucktard. Now if you're going to cede the engagement you can be a man and leave the evidence untouched. Or you could be a pussy and delete it. Until now I could onto visualize any other possible consequence. But our dear friend beandiddly has sunk**** to a brand new low.***** This imbecile has closed his shame off from normal viewers but kept it especially for his friends. Don't you wish you were his friend? Then you could laugh at him in his face as opposed to through the interweb superhighway like the rest of us. He could have retreated into his shell completely by making the entire journal friends only, but instead he hides a single post. A single post that had already been public for over a day. iqehJ:EF:JEasdljklkhhjkl;ghOkjklhjhjkl;WEUIGI:JG. Moron. Ignoramus. Virgin. Inbred hillbilly. Et cetera. KLHTG:IOHUIL:EHtgoweh;rjgoea;wjkgPHO:WEHIG:KGLlhhi. Jesus Christ. Have I mentioned that there is nothing but idiocy on livejournal? Nothing but idiocy. This is the kind of decision-making that produces Fear Factor contestants. Christ.
3. Anticlimax. Nothing happening. Yet. We'll wait on this one.
I could move on into deeper, more interesting territory, but instead I'll call it night.
Until next time, may the stupid kids continue to publicly display their brain power.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
*It was more like a lecture, but I like to keep the language cozy and friendly so my utter contempt for all of you doesn't leak out.
**Also known as gimmick, you stupid faggot.
***Gosh, this reminds me of someone.
****The ship sinks. The ship sank. The ship has sunk. SUNK IS THE PAST PARTICIPLE! PAST PARTICIPLE!! CAN YOU NOT GET YOUR TINY FUCKING HEADS AROUND THAT SIMPLE, SO SIMPLE, TINY LITTLE FACT?!?!?!?
*****On a more subdues note than the previous one, why does Canada have better musicians than America? For every Avril there's a Moxy Fruvous, a Barenaked Ladies, and a Treble Charger. For every Britney there's a Christina, a Jessica, a Backstreet Boys, an etc.
Consider this situation. You've just woken up and you're making breakfast, the toast is toasting in a toaster that doesn't have a timer so that you have to turn it off manually, the dogs need to be fed and the doorbell is ringing. The dogs are going insane from being hungry and the door and your toast is toasting. Spend too much time in one thing and your toast will burn, while if you spend too much time watching your toast your dogs will go insane and try and kill you and the hot girl at the door who wanted to have your babies will leave because you didn't sign her petition. WHAT DO YOU DO?
If you're not sure than you're like 99% of everyone else, good job you conformist. If you know what to do and/or deal with this on a regular basis you are either me, or awesome (like myself). Living my life is a lot like being in the military, only I don't have to deal with being shot at, no one is yelling at me to wake up at 5 AM, and I live in comfort and luxury.
Speaking of being me I actually have something of a life, so I actually do stuff. And speaking of doing stuff for the next week, I will be doing stuff with my family at the beach. And speaking of my family, it's only really my dads side of the family but it's pretty huge. Anywho I'll be at the beach doing beach stuff and not having time for you crazy bloggers and bloggettes. While Odovaucer will be here to insult you/provide you with light-hearted hilarity he doesn't update nearly as often as me, so you'll have to either amuse yourself with your own unique brand of hilarity, or beat your face in with a waffle iron to simulate our verbal beatings. I'm a large fan of the second choice.
In the week that I'm gone have a good time amusing yourselves, live long and prosper.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
So What's the Story With All These Capital Letters? Seems a Bit Extreme, Doesn't It?
Let me begin with the following missive: Wear pants.
Now with that out of the way I shall regale you with more talk (so to speak) of gimmicks and commenting skills. Now I've given some categories of thought and I hope you've begun your explorations on your own. However you'll find the right answers here.
Today I'll talk about gimmickry that hurts. In other words today's topic is not sunshine and rainbows. It's snide satire and a complete indifference to a blogger's feelings. Actually indifference is the wrong word, schadenfreude is more likely what we're looking at. We are going to revel in others' unhappiness and incomprehension.
Now you're probably going to expect links at some point. You're probably expectnig that one or more of those links will be to certain user we've had intercourse with before. Intercourse in the high-minded sense, not my obligatory practices with your household's matriarch. I'm not going to do anything to her today because, frankly, no one likes shooting fish in a barrel. Well, actually I do, but still I'm in the mood for variety. There will be links, but they'll be to new bloggers. I hope not all of you are dissappointed.
Now for today's exploits we want to create an identity that is unique and memorable and endlessly amusing. Now you can build your gimmicks in the abstract, which I've done, or you can tailor them to the individual situations. This is generally more rewarding, but alas, it can be timeconsuming.
Today I'm feeling a little bit lazy (surprisingly enough), so I shall perform the dreaded half-measures. To whit: I shall craft a persona, but I shall not create a new account or go it anonymous. Instead I shall post as myself, albeit with minimal literary talent. Wolf in sheep's clothing and all that.
The Link.
As you can see she's none to sharp, but whether or not she'll find the link to this site and deduce she is in the process of being "prankd" is anyone's guess. I'm expecting her to take it hook, line, and sinker. But once in awhile people surprise me. I did make it pretty easy for anyone of even slightly sub-normal intelligence to guess the game.
No immediate response so we'll move on to another journal. This time we won't mess around with long-term stuff. This will be straight forward. This particular user seems to be a bit paranoid about anonymous readers so we'll try giving his tail a little bit of a tweak. Nothing subtle about that one, we just want to see how he responds to contempt.
Here's a third target for the day. I think this one will realize that she's being made fun of, but if she tries to retaliate she'll need a dictionary. I'll again post as myself, and this time in a form unmangled by self-enforced stupidity. It's not subtle, but there is a solid chance she'll assume she was chosen for some spark of beauty that is, in actuality, quite absent.
Tommorow or the next day we'll look at the results of today's sallies.
Until then, remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Back to the future (blogs)!
Maybe I've talked about this before, maybe I haven't. Now that I'm 17 I do tend to get forgetful, I think that Alzheimer's is kicking in, but those are just my personal fears about aging and I guess they might not be totally founded in truth. Enough about my shitty life and stupid insecure fears, you came to this blog to be amused, not to be bored and depressed because I can't get a date for the box social.
Anywho, as I was saying before I began spiraling into a pit of depression the likes of which you've seen on many previous blogs, I'm forgetful. Not really, I actually have a fantastic memory I just don't keep track of all of the updates that I've done. (Actually I think he's right. Surprisingly enough I don't think we've done this one, obvious as it may be. - Odovaucer) This blog has been running for over half a year and as I tend to do the majority of the updates and for about 4 months 90% of my updates were blog based there's a damn good chance that I've done this before. However, as I would like to try and remember the 80's in my own special way I'll do a tribute to blogs because currently I've been focusing on more inane issues, like myself being inside of a computer machine internet cyberverse.
So here I am, about to talk about blogs while I continually go into those crazy tangents that don't really make sense but you read them anyway. Well no longer! I am going to clearly spell out what I dislike and why.
What I dislike:
Those annoying Mood: and Current Song: things in Deadjournals and Livejournals.
Why I dislike them:
Read between the fucking lines you shitheads, no wait I'm sorry. READ THE FUCKING LINES! When someone says in their update "Gee I shure did have a bad day huyuuuck" than you better think to yourself "I wonder what their current mood is" and then you better guess somewhere along the lines of anger, depression, sadness, and any other emotion that might fight. I mean sure that's a lot of emotions if you think about it, but on the other hand that's only one sentence. You infer for the fucking paragraph that they're writing about how they feel. If they tell me in plain English that they are sad because their boyfriend broke up with them than it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that maybe they're sad! (But what if they've moved on to mad since then? What are you ging to do about that one, tiger? - Odovaucer) HOLY SHIT! SAD! OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING! No, I'm not talking about the flash of inspiration that should hit them like a boot to their kiester, no I'm talking about some imaginary cheesecake that I would rather be eating than writing this update. Oreo cheesecake... man that hits the spot.
But wait! That's only one half of this disgusting duo of pain! There's also the fantastic practice of telling everyone about whatever shitty song by whatever shitty band you're currently listening too. I'm going to assume that it's there for two reasons. One is because you feel the need to stuff as much personal information into their updates as humanly possible and the second is because we'll somehow infer your mood of "Angry and non-conformist" by listing that your current song is "Linkin Park - One Step Closer," however that information isn't needed if you already have have the Current Mood: box and it certainly isn't needed if you have the IQ to be able to figure out that when a person talks about how sad they are maybe they're sad. IMAGINE THAT! SAD!
REDUNDANT DATA ALERT! Maybe if your emotions was a list of customers for a bank that you were running than we'd probably want those extra boxes, but they're not. In fact they have no value what so ever. NONE! WE DON'T CARE! MAYBE YOUR FRIENDS (Something tells me this will lead to the revelation that the individual in question actually has no friends. - Odovaucer) CARE BUT YOU PROBABLY TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND THEY PROBABLY KNOW THAT YOU'RE A WHINEY JACKASS. Re-read that part in caps just for posterity, ok? (It appears he's losing his grip on reality in his old age. - Odovaucer)
On a completely different note I turned 17 7 days ago on June 13th, aren't you proud of me? Let me end this with those immortal words from Steppenwolf (the band): Don't step on the grass Sam.
And with that I'm gone. So long dudes, dudettes, and homedogs.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Friday, June 18, 2004
Several Famous Authors are Alternating Between Rolling in Their Graves and Clawing in Vain at Their Coffins
It is I, the once and future king, risen again to bring glad tidings of a bright future for mankind. And to tell you to stop your fucking whining. Yes, I'm back again, but unlike Eminem I won't be announcing my return with a catchy hit single off my new semi-eponymous album. I'm just gonna be me (Insert a the word sniffle bracketed by asterisks or perhaps doubled colons if you like).*
It hasn't just been inertia that's kept me away from you recently. It's also been Europe. Yes Europe, land of all those cowardly unwashed effete bastards unwilling to get involved in Iraq. Bad Religion's new album The Empire Strikes First aside, I'm going to talk about Europe today instead of blogs.
I figure the study of blogs is really the study of idiocy, and Europe does have some of that. Probably less than the good old U. S. of A., but who's keeping score?**
Anyway here are the data I have brought back from across the Atlantic, thus saving you the effort and the expense.***
With no further ado, my adages:
1. In America we have something called homosexuals. In Europe they're known as Germans.
2. Acid wash jeans. There are a lot of acid wash jeans in Europe; I think it's the whole metrosexual thing: Something that looks gay, but no homosexual would be caught dead in it. Well I suppose they could easily be caught dead in them, lynchings being surprisingly common. Okay, I made that up. But I guess any lynchings at all would be surprisingly common. But maybe there aren't any lynchings. It would probably help to do some research. Put the whole lynching thing out of your mind. Acid wash jeans, apparently people think they look cool. Fucking morons ought to be lynched.****
3. mp3 players. Everybody seems to have one. IPODS are unsurprisingly far and away the most common. This is not an endorsement of the product, but a frank admission of an invasive ad campaign that has injected the damn things into the common lexicon.
4. Sideburns are rather long over in England. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but when they're emphatically red and the rest of the hair is black we have a problem. That's right, sideburns a different color from the rest of the hair are distressingly common. One instance would be distressingly common. The dozens I saw are most likely a sign of the apocalypse.
5. Germans are really gay.
6. Contrary to popular belief not all the world's fat people are in America. That's right, I saw plenty of fatties Over There. Of course every single one of them was emphatically an American tourist.
7. It is really fucking easy to pick out the Americans. Not just the concealed belt buckles, but also carriage and dress. The Frogs wouldn't even bother trying French on them, just went straight to obsequious English.
8. The internet is a concept completely beyond the French. I think they have some idea of 56k, but even that is far to complex to be left to the average Frenchie. However they do not wear berets.
9. Every box of cigarettes in Europe has SMOKING KILLS emblazoned on its front in massive black letters. Nearly everybody in Europe smokes. That's almost as stupid as the sixty percent of Americans who believe in the Bible as the literal Truth.
10. Germans=homos
So yeah, that's really all there is to Europe. It sucks. Probably just as much as America, but differently. Actually not all that differently, but differently enough that I felt like bitching about it. Europe in a nutshell. No thanks necessary.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
*Actually don't as that would be stupid faggotry, and besides you have no way of editing this so any attempts to insert anything into my update would be a sign of psychosis.****
**Who isn't?
***That means you'll have more money to spend on LemonPal.
****Durr.
*****This is a preemptive "eat shit and die" targeted at turtle_07. A pity I steadily ceded him ever more power as my sloth mounted.******
******Get your mind out of the gutter, furry.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
As it is summer you may have noticed that there have been fewer and fewer updates, and that is for a number of reasons. So that you're not left feeling totally abandoned I just thought that I'd let you know that I will continue updating, only not quite as frequently. Reasons being:
1) It's summer.
2) These assholes keep coming over to my house and making me do shit other than use my computer.
3) I forgot about this blog.
4) I'm a contestant on The Price is Right (LIE).
Just keep on rocking and try to look ahead, Lemon Party will keep on living (not dying), we're just on hiatus until I can think of some other crazy gimmick or I feel some MASSIVE ORGASMIC SURGE OF INSPIRATION.
turtle_07 out.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Tales from inside the Internet. Part 2
I thought that while I was living in the Internet you all would like some sort of an update about what I've been finding. So far the things that I have found are:
- A blue moose
- A stop sign ending in the number 7
- Free porn
There really isn't much else in here, except for the countless E-Interneticon stories that I've been finding in books, so if you don't mind I would like to recall for you one of the oldest (or so the book claimed) Internet story entitled A megabyte is a kilobyte shy of a Dime.
There was once a little kilobyte, a tiny little thing who all the bigger files made fun of. The little kilobyte you see was just that, a tiny little kilobyte, barely larger than a dime. All of the other files were at least 10 times his size, ranging anywhere from 10 kilobytes to 900 kilobytes, almost a megabyte! Because of this the little kilobyte was very sad.
He left school and began running home to his parents, he hoped that if he ran fast enough the bullies wouldn't be able to catch him and he would be safe. Unfortunately he ran into a back alley and he saw...
The story ends there as the book is almost completely destroyed by that point, I'm not sure what would have caused digital information to become destroyed, but it probably has something to do with the great corruption of '95. See back in 1995 there was a terrible worm which, as legend goes, corrupted everything it touched; and from the ashes of the corrupted data rose other worms who would then continue corrupting data.
Only after quarantining that part of the Internet were AV men able to come in and liquidate every last worm, however as the legend goes the worms will rise again and cause the downfall of the entire Internet, until that time however we are safe. Man it's kind of hard to believe how many stories there are about the Internet and the creation of (it). I'm going to keep looking around but until I go, have a Koan.
Two viruses were going to infect a computer, but both realized that if the other virus infected the computer first than they would not be able to infect the computer. The second virus infected a different computer, it was then that the first virus become enlightened.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Once more for the record
In my short time here at Lemon Party I have learned quite a few things about ye ol' internet. You may however ask how in a little over 6 months I have come to understand so much about Internet the answer is actually quite simple: specialty. Yes, in case it wasn't obvious our blog is a blog about blogs for blogs by people who read blogs, and as such I have learned a great deal about blogs. One of those is a cosmic truth, a truth so cosmic that all other truths are dwarfed by its veritable cosmicity. I have discovered (brace yourselves) that as 80% of all blogs are run by high school kids you will find yourself facing at around this time in the year droves upon droves of school is over harooh haray posts.
Of course as we might expect from bloggers, each post, while highly individualistic, still follows a very basic pattern that even the youngest of children and follow. Yes friends, it's not only that simple; it’s cheap too! Once again there are a range of emotions about school being over, and somehow all of them fit into one update. Don't ask me how it happens, but somehow it does and you're left sitting there wondering just what the helling fuck is going on. Not to say of course that conflicting emotions can't all fit into one update, but let’s be honest people; you're not that deep. I really doubt that the majority of bloggers can feel more than one emotion at once, regret and happiness to them mix like oil and water. That is to say not at all.
Sure some bloggers can and do feel more than one emotion at once, but those bloggers are by far the minority (report). So how can this be? How can people who probably have a hard enough time feeling other emotions... at the same time! I did a lot of research and ran some computer programs that may or may not have been Unreal Tournament 2004 and I came to one simple conclusion: Aliens.
That's right, Aliens are to blame. But how? By using the power of google I began searching for a series of words so intricate that even the aliens themselves couldn't trace it. Through all of my close failures I began learning tidbits, basically from what I pieced together aliens had put tiny chips into all of our computers... well it's actually more complicated than that. For each piece of hardware in your computer there is a smaller piece of hardware inside that hardware. Basically there is a very tiny computer inside of your computer. Through that computer the aliens monitor what you're doing and send tiny electrical shocks through your keyboard, those shocks are then sent to your brain and since brains rely on electrical impulses they control us. Of course at this point I had yet to uncover the shocking secret.
After typing in the last word of the series of intricate words of the intricate series I was zapped into cyberspace (think Freakazoid). Once there I began looking through the online dictionary for the phrases "Aliens" and "Tiny Computers". You cannot search for these things unless you are in the internet yourself, believe me I tried. I also looked up a few other super secret things like the secret to everlasting life (in your pants) and as I don't trust humanity with all of the knowledge of cyberville yet I will not be revealing the series of words that you use to get into cyberville. But I digress; the reason why aliens can put hardware IN our hardware is because... we are the aliens.
We landed on the earth a little over 200 years ago, unfortunately because of our nature we soon forgot who we were. The last remaining aliens came up with all religions and a fake history that would eventually lead us to the truth if we looked in all the right places. Soon we all succumbed to madness, but as time went on more and more broke out. All great technological achievements have just been our old technology as the enlightened ones introduced it slowly. They control the hardware... and they control us. They are hoping that by putting impulses in our brains we will eventually break free of the madness.
I don't know about you but I don't want to be an alien, I am very happy with my life right now and I sure as hell don't want to fly back to 'our' home planet. With this knowledge you should be able to notice when aliens are trying to break the mind blocks on us (we are also all the same intelligence, once the mind blocks are removed we are all equal), don't let them! Maybe you'd like to be smarter, but at what price? Your individuality is what price! Just... just... please... resist.
More on this story as it develops from INSIDE YOUR COMPUTER AND THE INTERNET! I'M GOING IN!
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Why haven't you been updating?
Short answer: Because we hate you.
Long answer: We (me) have been very busy at school, and as it's the last week and we don't want to fail it's generally a good idea to do all the work that they've been piling onto us. While we are very sorry for this inconvenience we at Lemon Party really don't care about your well being. If you have any complaints or questions about The Party I can be reached at my email address and my AOL Instant Messengering Service Aol Instant Messenger handle FearMeOrPerish.
If that last sentence didn't make sense it's because I hate you. Peace out ya'll.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.