Back to the future (blogs)!
Maybe I've talked about this before, maybe I haven't. Now that I'm 17 I do tend to get forgetful, I think that Alzheimer's is kicking in, but those are just my personal fears about aging and I guess they might not be totally founded in truth. Enough about my shitty life and stupid insecure fears, you came to this blog to be amused, not to be bored and depressed because I can't get a date for the box social.

Anywho, as I was saying before I began spiraling into a pit of depression the likes of which you've seen on many previous blogs, I'm forgetful. Not really, I actually have a fantastic memory I just don't keep track of all of the updates that I've done. (Actually I think he's right. Surprisingly enough I don't think we've done this one, obvious as it may be. - Odovaucer) This blog has been running for over half a year and as I tend to do the majority of the updates and for about 4 months 90% of my updates were blog based there's a damn good chance that I've done this before. However, as I would like to try and remember the 80's in my own special way I'll do a tribute to blogs because currently I've been focusing on more inane issues, like myself being inside of a computer machine internet cyberverse.

So here I am, about to talk about blogs while I continually go into those crazy tangents that don't really make sense but you read them anyway. Well no longer! I am going to clearly spell out what I dislike and why.

What I dislike:

Those annoying Mood: and Current Song: things in Deadjournals and Livejournals.

Why I dislike them:

Read between the fucking lines you shitheads, no wait I'm sorry. READ THE FUCKING LINES! When someone says in their update "Gee I shure did have a bad day huyuuuck" than you better think to yourself "I wonder what their current mood is" and then you better guess somewhere along the lines of anger, depression, sadness, and any other emotion that might fight. I mean sure that's a lot of emotions if you think about it, but on the other hand that's only one sentence. You infer for the fucking paragraph that they're writing about how they feel. If they tell me in plain English that they are sad because their boyfriend broke up with them than it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that maybe they're sad! (But what if they've moved on to mad since then? What are you ging to do about that one, tiger? - Odovaucer) HOLY SHIT! SAD! OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING! No, I'm not talking about the flash of inspiration that should hit them like a boot to their kiester, no I'm talking about some imaginary cheesecake that I would rather be eating than writing this update. Oreo cheesecake... man that hits the spot.

But wait! That's only one half of this disgusting duo of pain! There's also the fantastic practice of telling everyone about whatever shitty song by whatever shitty band you're currently listening too. I'm going to assume that it's there for two reasons. One is because you feel the need to stuff as much personal information into their updates as humanly possible and the second is because we'll somehow infer your mood of "Angry and non-conformist" by listing that your current song is "Linkin Park - One Step Closer," however that information isn't needed if you already have have the Current Mood: box and it certainly isn't needed if you have the IQ to be able to figure out that when a person talks about how sad they are maybe they're sad. IMAGINE THAT! SAD!

REDUNDANT DATA ALERT! Maybe if your emotions was a list of customers for a bank that you were running than we'd probably want those extra boxes, but they're not. In fact they have no value what so ever. NONE! WE DON'T CARE! MAYBE YOUR FRIENDS (Something tells me this will lead to the revelation that the individual in question actually has no friends. - Odovaucer) CARE BUT YOU PROBABLY TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND THEY PROBABLY KNOW THAT YOU'RE A WHINEY JACKASS. Re-read that part in caps just for posterity, ok? (It appears he's losing his grip on reality in his old age. - Odovaucer)

On a completely different note I turned 17 7 days ago on June 13th, aren't you proud of me? Let me end this with those immortal words from Steppenwolf (the band): Don't step on the grass Sam.

And with that I'm gone. So long dudes, dudettes, and homedogs.


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Andrew @ 10:13 PM