Wolves Can Smell Weakness
And here I thought we were having a good-natured battle of words. I thought there were two equally matched literary titans, veritable linguistic dreadnoughts, fighting each other to an epic standstill.

I was wrong. Mea culpa, I was wrong. It turns out that only one of is really worthy of that effusive praise, and it is not turtle_07. turtle_07 is apparently a coward and a slackard, too lazy to put together a proper retort. How long do you think he even spent churning out that piece of fluff? I would say that he is unlikely to have passed the threshold set by the thirty-third commandment: Thou Shalt Put More Than Two Minutes Into Thine Updates. The two minute mark was intended as figurative language, but I'm really not sure he even managed to meet its literal requirements. It goes without saying that you also broke commandment number sixteen, Thou Shalt Post Entries of Reasonable Length.

I think I'm having difficult conveying just how all-around pathetic that update was. I mean, he didn't even name the commandment his was citing. Acting out of a sense of fair play that must be completely foreign to the likes of turtle_07, I looked up the commandment in question. Turns out his beef was over the nineteenth commandment, Thou Shalt Not Use Ellipses Instead of Regular Punctuation. Well guess what turtle?...I'm going to ignore you because you couldn't be bothered to put together a half-decent post...I probably wouldn't have listened to him anyway because he's a fool, but whatever...

Wait, there's more....turtle_07 in fact broke four commandments in that last assault against the morale fibre of our world. Well how do you like that? The fourteenth commandment clearly states that thou shalt not sign thy entry when it is easily apparent who is updating....I think it's pretty clear who was updating, don't you? Especially the damn thing already handily lists the author's name at the bottom of the update.

Thou Shalt End Thy Entry Correctly is our thirtieth commandment...and does it look like turtle_07 observed it this morning? Here...let me quote him for you:

Next time you want to end your blog entry, try thinking of it less like an IM conversation, and more like essay. Give us something other than "I HAVE NO TIME TO UPDATE BUT I WILL UPDATE ANYWAY OH NO MOMS CALLING TTYL!!!" Sheesh you people make me sick.

Jesus Christ, turtle_07. Jesus Christ. Not only did he fail to bring his piece to a coherent close, but he also left out the single most iconic element of this blog. Perhaps you've noticed that, at the end of every update, we post the same two sentences. It's a way of reminding us of our roots, of our raison d'etre, of our place in the Interwebnation Superhighway...and he left it off. He left off the classic Lemon Party tagline. This is unforgivable even in a Down Syndrome patient...Here let me show you the way things ought to be around here.


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 10:11 AM