The Most Lemony Thanksgiving You Could Ask For
Today is Thanksgiving. Traditionally Thanksgiving is day of giving thanks. It's one of those sort things that are kind of obvious to people like me. People like me being people much smarter than people like you. It is in fact people like me I want to talk about today, but not in giving thanks type of capacity. I would like to explain to you, my faithful readers about me, and, by extension, people like me.

I was born. It was a rather messy affair and not one I particularly wish to repeat. It was notable because it was directly followed by what was easily the second biggest mistake of my life. Until quite recently it was, in fact, numero uno. Here's what happened. After popping out, so to speak, I stuck my head up and had a look around. That was it. See the mistake? It was an error of inaction.

What I should have done was get the fuck back in there. Look at the world around you, it's going to hell in a fucking handbasket. You Americans just reelected, for the second time, a President who is actively trying to bring the apocalypse as soon as possible. The majority of the American electorate* wants to end the world. Or they're too stupid to understand what they're voting for, which is essentially the same. If you've been reading LemonParty for any length of time you should know that I have been one of the most strident voices against humanity and for mass suicide. Seriously the world is in the shitter, and there aren't enough people with fully functional brains to drag it ot of there. Rats would abandon sinking ships, and in this instance the rats have a leg up on you stupid fuckers.

Once you've accepted that everything is shitty except the stuff that's about to turn shitty and hurt you by surprise, life doesn't really seem worth living, and it is isn't. But not everyone is willing to take that plunge. In fact most people have that sort of misguided optimism that things will get better or are just too chicken-shit to do it, or some other excuse. Hell, I'm obviously one of them.** I obviously haven't killed myself. Though it's certainly possible that is my last update ever and I'm going to go kill myself after I put this piece out on Internet. Why am I so morbid on a day that should, theoretically, be spent giving thanks for my blessings, for the best things in life? Perhaps it has to do with my self-destructive tendencies, my capacity to throw away those blessings, my truly histrionic fits of self-loathing. Suffice to say that, I don't know what's right, but I know that I am quite wrong. But then so are you, so it evens out as I'm probably less wrong, seeing as how my IQ is over 80 and yours isn't.





Happy Thanksgiving and remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.


*To be fair this election probably was rigged from both sides, though much more severely from the Republican side. That no one put together a coherent campaign of protest like in Ukraine for instance is, however, tacit approval of this President.

**Yet.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 8:26 PM