O World-Weary Electorate, What Hath Thou Wrought?
The election is over and I, like many liberals, am saddened and scared by the fact that Bush was re-elected. Over the next four years I fear for my safety, not only because I'm afraid of what Bush will do (Oh, come on, the apocalypse isn't such a bad thing, is it? - Odovaucer), but also because I'm afraid of what this election meant. I, like many, noticed that the voter turnout in this election was huge, far huger than a cow, or even an elephant.

Some people would see this a good thing because it means that America really feels strongly about politics and will work for reform, some see it as a bad thing because it means that conservatives outnumber us liberals. I, however, see it as a terrible thing. The increase in people's brain usage will soon attract a number of unsavory characters to the fray, most noticeably, vampires.

If the internet has taught me anything, it's that vampires don't just drink blood. They drink blood, psychic energy (No that's not how he thought "psychic" was spelled - Odovaucer, ever amused by his colleagues' spelling catastrophes), and the melodies of bad music. Huge online communities of these buggers have taught me many things, such as the aforementioned. What else it has taught me is never to trust vampires. Sure on the forums they all talk about getting a willing blood donor and not hurting anyone, but I've seen the movies! These fuckers were just waiting for a moment like this, a moment when our psychic (mental) energy was at an apex, so that they can swoop in and steal it.
S
ure we don't notice anything now, but that's because they're crafty... very, very crafty. Pretty soon liberals will start dropping dead. Not because of stress or GOP assassins, but because the God-damned commie pinko shit-eating vampires have taken away all of our psychic energy! What's psychic energy? Who the fuck knows, but I'm sure I need it.

Okay, yes, I'm angry. But I think that I have good reason to be angry, if some skinny gothic reject covered in pimples and white face paint wants to suck out all of my psychic energy and actually SUCCEEDS than today is truly a sad day for America.

Well, the election is over, and I have been vindicated. Now I had a little help from the Diebold corporation, but it is still possible that Bush won the election fair and square. Now you may have thought that I was being facetious in my support of Bush for his apocalyptic tendencies, but here's a bit of reading on the Republican establishment and Bush in particular. And there's plenty more where that came from. Maybe you'll pay a little more attention next time, if there is a next time. - Odovaucer

Second edit as my first was deleted, the 'spelling catastrophes' as Odovaucer calls them are the result of publishing my post before I proofread it. Odovaucer is trying harder and harder to cover up that little fact. Perhaps he's hiding something deeper... darker... or perhaps he just wants to be more like his idle. - turtle_07

And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks (and our president wants the world to end so that he can ascend in the Rapture).

- posted by Andrew @ 9:23 PM