Try English, for Fun and Profit!
What was that even supposed to mean? I'm really not sure what's going on in that update. Well, that's not entirely accurate. I can figure that you're calling me out for violating one of our more obscure commandments. Fine, whatever, but I think you should pay a little more attention to commandment number two, thou shalt not write unintelligibly. Christ, that just sickens me. I don't even want to think about it anymore. You can't just make up words, you know! We're going to have to change things up now. I can't take this "baka" crap anymore, we need to do something else, and I know just how to pass the time: poetry!


Blue Vanilla

Blue Vanilla is the only way
Because of the bumps in my brainy brain.
No that is a lie. Why are you lying in my poem?
Is it because I slept with another man?
I am sorry.
He means nothing to me.


The Mountain

I have climbed the mountain,
Surpassed the jelly rolls,
Frosty peaks and green growths,
Scaled the inky genes
In the mouth of the great octopus
That lives within us all.
I have climbed the mountain,
Unzipped the stretched jeans
To reveal the dark crevasse below,
Plunging into the raging sea.
Release
SPLURT.


Dead Ducks for Stew

Dread drucks fror strew
Dtead dtucks ftor sttew
Dfead dfucks ffor stfew
Dqead dqucks fqor stqew
Intelligent Design.
Taste the sweet meat
of the afterlife’s loins.


Tobin Bell

Tobin Bell is my favorite actor.
He is my favorite actor because he is man.
Women make terrible actors.


Qwerty
Qwertyuiopa
What does that mean?
I don’t know
There’s tumor in my brain.
Fappo!


The Ghetto

There are black people in the ghetto.
We shall speak of it no more.


I’m Scared

There’s a man with an axe
I’m not scared though
Because he’s just in my brain,
And there is nothing dangerous in my brain
Because I am retarded.


I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream

…


Once I Built a Railroad

Now I am really poor
It is not good being poor
Because I have no monies
Buddy can you spare a dime?
Actually maybe more because I cannot buy anything with a dime because of inflation.


My First Poem In English

This is my first poem in English
I speak sign language.


Have You Ever Done That

Have you ever done that?
Because that’s really dumb.
Your mom’s dumb.
No, your mom’s dumb.
Oh snap.

Can You Get Your Hand Out Of There

No.

Indra

Hello, I am Indra.
Hello.

Next Poem

This is the next poem.
Or is it?


I PUT THEM IN THE BLENDER

AND I EATS THEM BY THE SPOONFUL
And that is how to be respectful to women.


Sara has a fake ID

No she doesn’t.
That is illegal,
And college students do not break the law.


Why Do You Smell Like That?

Because I have not showered since the Civil War.
And that wasn’t a shower it was my best friend’s blood.
I am very old.


Are We Here or Under a Large Black Man

We are here.
That is a silly question.
And it doesn’t have a question mark.
Fear the large black ass of humanity.
Wait, what?


Get Out From Under That Sheep

It is too big you will get hurt.
Go after the dog, she is more your size,
And she is dead so you will not have to hold her still.



Wise Black People

Are rare.
That is why I prefer foolish black people.
They are medium well.


Tobin Bell

Actually we already had a poem about him.
Let’s move on.


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 1:52 PM