The Great Void and the Great Reclaiming
Two days ago it was Sunday, a day of rest. I was resting, as is my wont on Sunday, the day of rest. This was not, however, your typical day of rest. This was Patriot Day™! “What, pray tell, is Patriot Day™?” you may be asking. You wouldn’t actually ask that because you aren’t the sort of person who says things like “pray tell,” but that’s not really the point at hand. The point is that you have no idea what Patriot Day is. It’s not because you’re a knuckle-dragging mouth-breather (though it’s quite likely that you are, in fact, a knuckle-dragging mouth-breather). Why, I myself had no idea there was such a thing as Patriot Day™ until a calendar rudely rubbed my face in my own foul-smelling ignorance.

Patriot Day™, you see, is a celebration of September 11, 2001. Basically, President George W. Bush was just so tickled that a couple of planes crashed into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon that he wanted to immortalize the great sacrifice made by Mohammed Atta et al. So he made the day a holiday in honor of their patriotic efforts, and named it, appropriately enough, Patriot Day™. Here’s to Mohammed Atta, a real American hero.

So why am telling you all this? Is it because I think you’ll actually absorb something pertinent? Heavens no! Is it because I think this is an important matter to discuss in great detail? Of course not! Perhaps it’s because Mohammed Atta is a real American hero. Don’t be ridiculous! It could be because I just plain love to write about holidays. But it isn’t! Maybe it’s because I’m so drunk that this seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea? I’m not sure, but I don’t think so; I mean it seems a little contrived!! Or how about this: is it because the earliest post on Lemon Party was from Patriot Day™, 2001? Yes, that is correct. (!)

What can I say; I was feeling a little nostalgic for that simpler time when airplanes and towers would just run into each other willy-nilly. A time when you could turn on your computer, hop onto the Interwebnation Superhighway, and find something new to read at Lemon Party. You may have thought those days were gone for good. They weren’t. They’re back, and with a vengeance.

For too long bloggers have been able to publish their fruitless, semi-literate whining for all the world to see. This is the end of those days. No longer will individuals such as this be free to do as they would.



Look at her, serene in her self-serving misery. No longer, I say! No longer. The day of reckoning is at hand. Welcome back, our guiding light. Welcome back, Lemon Party.

Because your blog sucks, and that's not right.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 11:16 PM