Exploding barrels
Sometimes you dream. When you dream you walk alone at night. Through barren streets and unknown alleyways you make your journey home through the darkness. Unknown shapes watch you from the shadows, goading you down paths long forgotten by man. Slowly the street lamp's hum becomes nothing but a faint whisper, and the concrete path turns to ill cared-for cobblestones. The unknown shapes become something more, and at the same time less, still ever watching, but occasionally you can pick out an eye... or a leg... or a long clawed arm whereon the remains of some half-dead creature whose last spasms of life evoke a grim foreboding for your own future. And then it comes... a writhing mass of tentacles bursts out of the darkness and envelops you wrapping you in its slimy grip slowly, slowly squeezing the life out of you until such a point such that God grants you leave from their realm, and you find yourself in bed screaming as the shapes slowly meld back into the shadows.

(I love how he tried to rape what could possibly be one of the best paragraphs he's written here with superfluous ellipses. Luckily he turns a lovely little phrase in the next paragraph. Let's read on and see if we can spot it. - Odovaucer)

Or sometimes you dream that the cute girl in your English class finally noticed you, and then let you do her up the butt. It all really depends on what's going on in your life. Personally I think that the first dream is cooler, especially since you don't have to get feces (even dream feces) on your penis.

I don't pretend to know anything about dreams though... well except for one thing. Dreams are awesome. Really awesome. Dreams can be used in any situation, and I do mean ANY situation.

Let's say that you're trying to romance a fine lady, right? You whisper sweet nothings into her ear and tell her that she is the very stuff of your dreams. Ok, it is kind of creepy if you don't pull it off right, but if I have learned anything from sappy love stories, it's that stuff like this always works (unless you're that really creepy guy who causes the misunderstanding and not the only somewhat creepy protagonist).

Or perhaps a really ugly girl just asked you to prom. You lean over to your friends, and take a little jab at her, you tell them that it's like all of those nightmares that you keep having. If you wanted to be really mean, you would tell her (along with telling your friends the previous bit) that you'd go to prom with her... in her DREAMS. Get it? (Got it - Odovaucer)

Sometimes dreams even help you sort out problems that your conscious mind doesn't want to deal with. I don't know exactly how this works, but I'm sure that if you feel the need to post your dreams here I'll tell you something possibly involving rape and your parents. (Generally I agree with a lot of things turtle_07 says. Scratch that, very little he says is even possible, let alone true. This is one of many cases in which he's just wrong. You cannot sort any problems without be willing to consciously deal with them. Even if your dreams provide a solution you cannot implement said solution without the consent of your conscious mind. So turtle_07's message is a little disingenuous there. Also I should counsel you against using your dreams to solve your problems because you aren't smart enough to understand all of the implications. turtle_07 is either, but his answers involve both rape and your parents, so you should probably consult him. - Odovaucer)

I hope that this has been informative, turtle_07 out.


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Andrew @ 7:23 PM