Nudeist Colony Twenty-Five: The Twenty-Fifth Nudeist Colony
First thing's first: the Who Wants to Be a Lemon Jockey contest is still wide open, so keep working on those entries, and maybe you'll wake up a Lemon Jockey on March 14. Good luck. And now a for Nudeist Colony.

Today's Nudeist Colony is dedicated to Japan, home of underage tentacle rape porn. It contains a number of listings. Each entry contains the actual data of an Internet browser who stopped by our illustrious website. As usual I have given date, time, resolved domain, IP address, the page viewed, and the page the reader was referred from. All users are assumed to be English-speaking Americans using Windows and IExplore unless otherwise indicated. My comments follow each entry.

Tue Feb 22 03:40:35 2005
Japanese
Netscape 5
gw20.nakameguro.namco.co.jp
220.110.137.122
http://lemonparty.blogspot.com/2005_01_16_lemonparty_archive.htmlhttp://search.yahoo.co.jp/bin/query?p=jony dep&fr=top%2c top

Jony Dep, not to be confused with Johnny Depp, is apparently quite the celebrity in Japan. What an interesting coincidence, as one would otherwise have thought the former to be a woeful misspelling of the latter.


Tue Feb 22 18:37:13 2005
166.cust9.sa.dsl.ozemail.com.au
210.84.232.166
http://lemonparty.blogspot.com/2004_06_27_lemonparty_archive.html
http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&q=Girls Stripteasing jpg&btnG=Google Search&meta=

Surprisingly enough, there are .jpgs of girls stripteasing here. I know this must have come as quite a shock to some of you, but it is the truth. This is strictly an educational website. We've educated you on a subjects ranging from blogging to time travel to the insidiousness of squirrels. We have not educated you about jpeg files of girls stripteasing because there really isn't much to explain. Essentially what you have is a static image of a girl (I'm really hoping girl in this case means "female over the age of eighteen), removing clothing sensually. There really isn't much else to say on the topic; it's pretty damn straightforward.

Thu Feb 24 19:24:11 2005
Opera 6.05
12-219-91-59.client.mchsi.com
12.219.91.59
http://lemonparty.blogspot.com/2004_03_28_lemonparty_archive.html
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=shitcock %22something awful%22&btnG=Google Search

I cannot imagine why someone would consider "shitcock" to be "something awful." Shitcock is a thing of beauty and purity. It is a symbol of that is right with this world. A cock constructed of shit may seem an unpleasant thing, but in reality it is the very stuff of life. Humanity began at the behest of a cock made of shit. Your very existence, dear reader, is entirely the fault of a shitcock. That fecal phallus has provided you with you all you have in this world. The ejaculate of the shitcock is the life that flows in your veins. So show a little respect for your predecessors next time.


Tue Feb 22 20:24:31 2005
Netscape 5
r67h145.res.gatech.edu
128.61.67.145
http://lemonparty.blogspot.com/2003_12_21_lemonparty_archive.html
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&c2coff=1&q=lemon party ascii&btnG=Search

This is something of an unusual request. In fact it is, as far as I can tell, the first time anyone's come here looking for ASCII representations of three elderly men engaging in sexual acts. Some thing do slip through my net, but that seems like a memorable one. Incidentally we have never provided ASCII content of any sort, and I sincerely doubt we will ever be displaying any images of elderly men engaged in sexual acts.

Thu Feb 24 19:39:46 2005
MacOS (MacPPC)
customer-148-235-86-254.uninet-ide.com.mx
148.235.86.254
http://lemonparty.blogspot.com/
http://www.parseek.com/search/?q=sex%2012-17%20year%20old%20picturs

Some folks like to look at pictures of other folks engaged in sexual acts. I can deal with this. Some people like to look at pictures of children between the ages of twelve and seventeen. That's a little peculiar, but I can deal with it. Some people like to look at pictures of children between the ages of twelve and seventeen engaged in sexual acts. That one's a little tougher for me. I'll grant you that there are some hot eight-year-olds out there, but underage sexpots should be attractive only because they resemble of age sexpots. If your brain doesn't have rot in it you should be able to get off to legal pictures, and thus have no need of the underage crowd. So if you're searching for underage porn, you're either an idiot or seriously damaged in your head.

That's all superfluous though, as this person wasn't searching for pictures depicting twelve- seventeen-year-olds having sex. This person wanted "picturs."


Thu Feb 24 19:47:17 2005
CPE000ea6b233e8-CM014080000131.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com
24.156.136.46
http://64.233.187.104/search?q=cache:ZmahqIYTeh0J:lemonparty.blogspot.com/2005/02/black-jack-colony-21-international.html tentacle %2B se %2B lemon&hl=en
http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=tentacle %2B se %2B lemon

That is indeed a search for "tentacle," "se," and "lemon." I really don't have anything else to say.


Thu Feb 24 20:39:02 2005
English (United Kingdom)
ACD8F673.ipt.aol.com
172.216.246.115
http://lemonparty.blogspot.com/2003_12_28_lemonparty_archive.html
http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=15 year old girl fuck pic&ei=UTF-8&fr=FP-tab-web-t&fl=0&x=wrt

So here we are with the phrase "15 year old girl fuck pic." That's not one of those phrases you ever wish to see or hear. Nonetheless you've all just read it, and I just said it loudly, which means that everyone in this room with my has been subjected to the auditory version. We don't have "fuck pics" of fifteen-year-old girls, and we plan to keep it that way. You all can keep showing up though if you'll stop to read something and pick up a little common sense or maybe even common decency. Perhaps that's too much to hope for.

And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 1:38 PM