Google Image SafeSearch Is for Cowards
That title is actually completely applicable. Take a moment to let the wonder soak in. Done? Excellent. You may know that last week I wrote a commandment about pictures, which seems a little peculiar for Lemon Party, which is ostensibly about blogs, and blogs are generally known for text, if not coherent thought. What you might not know is that I only skimmed the surface of the deep, deep well of awful that is the userpics of livejournal and deadjournal users. There are quite a few noteworthy images that didn't end up in that update due to space and time concerns. So I decided to send a few more your way.

However I've added two important new features this time around. First I've put up a copy of each journal's icon up on my own hosting and displayed that so there can be a permanent record of these poor fools' mistakes. Some time in the near future I will be doing the same to that update's featured blogs. I have also used the aforementioned Google Image Search (abbreviated as GIS from here on) to find better icons for these misguided bloggers, and each superior icon is from the page of results from an image search for that poster's username or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Yes, it's pretty to get better pictures on the Internet.


I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this young lady is an Alanis Morrisette fan. That's fine, though I think the song she's chosen to reference is somewhat subpar. The important thing is her ridiculous icon.

Wow, look it's like a portrait but angsty and pale and emaciated. Fantabulous! The result from GIS:

Yes that's a truly atrocious painting of God doing, well something, but it's still noticeably more entertaining. Seriously, take a look at the big guy's hands. Clearly the artist has a firm grasp of anatomy.

Yes she hasn't updated since mid-October, but what a cool userpic!

Wow, that's deep isn't it? And the animation is so compelling The very first hit from a GIS for "quixotic" is quite literally infinitely superior:

That is actually better than just about any icon I've ever seen. And certainly far superior to anything my work as a Lemon Jockey has brought before my eyes.

Feast your eyes upon the things I have to deal with to bring your week's quota of bitter, bitter ranting.

Seriously, you get the impression that that girl probably isn't actually all that unattractive, but the this userpic evokes a viscerally repellent reaction.
Go go Google Image Search:

We would, of course, only be able to use a small portion of this image, but a small portion is all we need to get a much more exciting userpic.

I was a little worried about this one as the icon, while a reference to an awful band, is still simple and far more elegant than the average fare.

GIS did not disappoint, serving up this tasty little number that even speaks to our feckless fellow's stated interests.

Yes the original is actually more elegant, but it is not only blazingly unoriginal, but also copped from a band so bad that I am constantly amazed that there are people who do not think the Deftones are purposefully as awful as possible. Not many people, but some.

So there you have it: if you let someone pick his own livejournal icon he'll choose an awful one. Thanks for your time, fags.

And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 9:25 PM