The Cure for Mental Health
Just what is the cure for mental health, you ask? Well, I don't know for sure, but I have no qualms in telling you that reading your blogs has done very well for me, thank you very much. I am quite clearly insane by any standard definition, though, surprisingly enough, turtle_07 comes across as far crazier than I do upon these pages. Yet he is perfectly sane. I suppose it's a comment on the world we live in that the sane appear insane and insane appear quite rational, if somewhat nihilistic.*

That actually leads into the topic of today's discussion...and the first commandment in about forever! Yes, we've really got more, and I think today's is a good day to toss this one out. Take a look at this deadjournal. Notice anything interesting? Don't bother reading the entries; they're the angsty bullshit you all know and loathe.** The important thing is that fellow there with the dreadlocks, microphone, and raised middle finger? Notice how the screen flashes three similar scenes repeatedly? That would be deadjournal user myepitaph's "userpic." The userpic is meant to represent the user, surprisingly enough. That means that stupid faggots should use images such as myepitaph's, because that is one stupid userpic.

Why is it a stupid userpic, you might ask. Well number one would be that he uses the lead singer of slipknot to represent himself.*** Generally using a celebrity to represent yourself is trite and uninteresting. Not to mention somewhat less than unique. If you want to take an insightful and revolutionary perspective on the celebrity, that's one thing, but that's hard when your IQ is less than 100. Also noteworthy is that the entire subject matter of that image is the raised middle finger. That is not what I would call a creative animation. If you're going to use your userpic to rage against the machine or the Jews or the Republicans or the sheep or the asparagus, just try and be somewhat interesting about it. The middle finger is what one might refer to as a "cliche." It has been used so much that it has lost whatever meaning it held originally and now means approximately "I are teh stoopid. Derf, derf."

Similarly Legolas is not a good userpic. The implication is either that you think you're a Tolkien elf (which is just retarded) or you're a hopeless fanatic obsessed with a film series that fails to do justice to a highly overrated trilogy. That's three losing on three levels, but at least you don't think you're a fucking elf. And how about this one, isn't that a wonderful guitarist? I bet that's you, whitesummeside, isn't it? You're such a pretty guitarist, so pretty that you should go kill yourself. Oh, and another. That vomiting skater dude is so cool. Oh and you labeled it "pukeXcore." How witty. Actually you probably didn't even make it yourself. Talk about pathetic. This pseudo-artistic shit is so cool. Really. I am moved by your black and white face, by your flowering rose. Those were such good ideas.

Now if you had a WWTBALJ icon, that would be kind of cool. The animation is adequate, there are no cliches, and concept is not retarded. Isn't that simple? I thought so. The majority of Internet users apparently do not, but now they have no excuse, do they? Here's the commandment, finally.



Thou Shalt Not Represent Thyself With a Moronic "Userpic"




And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.


*Here's the definition, just in case.

**See what I did there? See how I took your comfortable cliche and warped into something subtly terrifying in its utter depravity? See how I used hyperbole just now?

***Google says that fellow is named Corey Taylor, but a more appropriate name would be "Oh God Kill Me Now."
- posted by Odovaucer @ 10:48 PM