Sometimes the Date Changes After 24 Hours
And here we go again, we know the start we know the end, masters of the scene. We've done it all before, and now we're back to get some more. You know what I mean? If you do then please stop reading right now, there will be nothing in this update that you don't already know. If, however, you said, "no," then please by all means continue reading.

What I'd like to talk about is something that is very dear me, something that I don't think we at Lemon Party talk about enough. That thing, my dear good friends, that thing... is love. So often we Lemon Jockeys blast people writing about their shitty crushes and mock their angst, that some simple-minded folk might think that we hate love in general. No, my friends, we do not hate love.

(Actually I do hate love - Odovaucer, who also hates the egregious lack of toothpicks in sufficiently large sandwiches)

What we hate is the lack of toothpicks in sufficiently large sandwiches. Sometimes our hatred of this travesty becomes so great that we might lash out at things that seem like love, but you must remember: we do not hate love, and what we lash out at is not love. You must always remember that. This one time I forgot that... and... well I woke up hours later in a daze surrounded by Barbie dolls and beer cans. Don't let that happen to you.

Anyway, toothpicks are important. When you have a large sandwich and you try to bite into it but it falls everyone you get really pissed. With toothpicks you can do one of two things. One would be to test your luck by removing the toothpick, but still safe in the knowledge that wherever your transporting the sandwich to before you eat it, it will remain safe. Or two, you can leave the toothpick in and just eat around it. Both are excellent choices for a sandwich of sufficient stature, and it would be a crime to not have toothpicks in such a situation.

Toothpicks have a long and amazing history you know. They were invented in Germany in 1812 by a Mr. Thomas Toothpicke. Back then they were called toothpickes, but later the E was scrapped when we moved from old English into new English. After they were invented however Thomas couldn't take all of the stress of being famous, and he killed himself in late April of 1816.

I certainly hope that you've learned something this update, and next time you reach for a sandwich... don't forget to make sure that it has toothpicks.


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.

- posted by Andrew @ 8:12 PM