Odovaucer is a big dumb smelly head
In case you were actually reading this blog, you would notice that Odovaucer and I had a small argument in the comments of my previous update. I refuse to stand back as Odovaucer defames my good name... so I decided to do the same thing to him. Not defame his good name... just to tell all of our readers the truth about the so called 'first poster' of Lemon Party.

Part the first wherein I tell you all ten shocking things about Odovaucer

1) Odovaucer wasn't actually the first poster of lemon party, our humble blog was actually started by Djquickcool27, but Djquickcool27 was unfortunately the trusting type. He gave Odovaucer an admin posting account and before you could say "troglodyte, Djquickcool27 is one" he had disappeared from the blog forever.

2) Whereas most people aren't dumb enough to use their real name as their screen name, Odovaucer is different. He thinks that he can lead you off the trail by changing the spelling of his name slightly. Google search for Odovacer Ostrogoth, you'll see that our friend has a colorful history. HOW MANY HAVE YOU KILLED? HOW MANY?

3) Odovaucer abandoned his platoon in Vietnam. Going into the brush and shooting himself three times in the foot Odovaucer crawled back to camp crying. After receiving the three purple hearts necessary to leave Vietnam he was out of there. No one from his platoon survived.

4) Odovaucer uses his political influence to start wars in countries that you've never heard of. Worried about getting drafted? Don't blame the President. Blame Odovaucer.

5) A long time ago when I was wondering in the woods I came across a stump. Seeing as it was high noon and I was getting hungry, I placed my delicious lunch on the stump and then found a comfortable rock. I sat down and began to eat my lunch. I had but started when a man in a long black robe approached me. He asked if he could have a biscuit. Being the kind of person that I am I gave him one. Upon getting his biscuit he left without saying 'thank you'. That person was Odovaucer.

6) If Odovaucer had Superman's powers, he would use them for evil.

7) Terrorist groups actually answer to Odovaucer. He's the leader of every single one of them. He caused all terrorist-related things to happen as well as poison the milk in your breasts (if you're a girl).

8) Odovaucer is a vampire. He robs people of their inner essence (AND BLOOD) (Apparently I'm not the type of vampire that steals one's "pycshic" energy - Odovaucer).

9) Odovaucer wrote this fanfic.

10) Odovaucer calls me a fag a lot.

Part the second in which I post a very non-fake chatlog

I have edited out both of our screen names so that you won't message us and bother us as we are both very busy (Odovaucer is busy with evil).

Odovaucer: Hey dude
turtle_07: Hello Odovaucer, I was just about to go off and help old ladies across the street.
Odovaucer: That's cool. Hey look, I'm going to kill the presidents
turtle_07: go ahead... wait what? presidents?
Odovaucer: Not dubya, I'm going to go back in time and kill all of the presidents that everyone liked.
turtle_07: Like Taft?
Odovaucer: No, not like Taft

Odovaucer then set his status to away with this away message:

I'm going to go alter history for evil. Stalin was a cool guy.

Part the third wherein I tell you all that Odovaucer touches me in bad places

Odovaucer touches me in bad places.



I'm so sorry Odovaucer, I just couldn't keep it inside anymore. If I mysteriously disappear it's because Odovaucer is angry that I revealed the truth about him.



And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.

- posted by Andrew @ 1:01 AM