What's wrong with people?
In memory of the past... in memory of the time when I actually posted... in memory of the future, I shall post again. But not only will I post again (as I plan on continuing to post), I shall post about blogs.

Yes, we've come around full circle. The alpha as become the omega, the beginning the end, and the Simpsons has become Futurama. Which really doesn't work given that Futurama was cancelled. Anyway as I was saying before I went off on an irrelevant tangent and you got yourself a snack: this update's on blogs.

A recently discovered phenomenon that I will just never understand is blogs, but we've been over that already. There was a lot of screaming, a lot of crying, and a lot of growing as a person. Well I went through some psychotherapy and actually regressed as a person, so I'm back to my angry stage.

Blogs are dumb, we've been through this. We've also been through approximately 99% of the ways that blogs are dumb, including a few dumb ways which only reinforces are point. Anyway, recently I found another reason to hate blogs. It's those terrible "Nothing is going on in my life but I'm going to post anyway" posts. They come in many forms, but in the end they always boil down to one thing: something that you didn't need to know. I find it FASCINATING that you just washed your clothes, really I do, but if I didn't I might start yelling at you in tongues. Can I take a practice yell right now? If I'm going to read about your shitty life make it worth reading; one sentence updates or updates telling me that you're updating without a cause only tell me that you don't care about your reader, and be extension, don't care about yourself.

I mean that's what this is about isn't it, the fact that you've lost all self esteem. Don't tell me otherwise, I can read you like a book. Your updates are simply cries for help as you run, scared an alone, through a large and dark world full of evil. One time a car hit my dog :(

If that's not proof enough that the world is a cold black place then you must be legally insane. Or illegally, I'm not really the picky type. Anyways it looks like I've rambled on; here's what I'm trying to say: MAKE YOUR UPDATES WORTHWHILE! Generally it's unacceptable to do a two or three sentence update, although sometimes it's ok. I just don't get the point of doing a single sentence update about how your cat just threw up a hairball and it's yicky. Would you write that in your non-electronic diary, or would you talk about how Peggy Sue maced you when you told her to strip? These are your very personal public journals... that by some strange twist of fate are online for the entire world to read. Treat them as such; we don't need to know about how your stubbed toe hurts (unless it's part of a larger story).

To reiterate:

BAD
The mall near my house is selling ice cream now, finally.

Good
I'M NOT TYPING ANOTHER UPDATE INSIDE AN UPDATE!


Please just try to
(And) remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party. Because your blog sucks.



- posted by Andrew @ 11:00 PM