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I'm back from the dead, no really. I am. The reason why I had stopped posting was not because I was bored of Lemon Party or that I simply could not think of anything to post, on the contrary. I was dead. Not in the sense that my body had stopped working and my family was now mourning, but in the sense that I was emotionally dead.

I'm not exactly sure how one is emotionally dead to the world, but it does give me a good reason for not updating. I mean when someone says: "Why weren't you at the mall" and you respond with "I was dead", you know that they're not going to fuck with you. If they're an unbeliever than you just need to point out that you weren't all body functions cease dead but more you lost the ability to have rational thought dead. That or just claim that you're like Jesus, both work.

So where am I going with this, I mean you must have read enough of my updates to know that most start with a confusing and not all relevant segue, and then end with some sort of something that may or not be writing. It's all very vague and incomprehensible... it will also probably lead to some of the other members making fun of my grammar and spelling.

Believe it or not but Odovaucer loves to flaunt is intellectual muscles and tell me that I'm stupid and point out useless grammar mistakes. Sometimes I hit him, but other times I just brood in the dark thinking up good ways to kill him. Below (and the real point to this update) is the best way to kill Odovaucer bar none. Listen and learn my friends... listen and learn.

To kill Odovaucer we have to know his weaknesses, Odovaucer as we all know is no normal human. He can only be killed two ways: 1) The first way involves the ancient vial of Methcron, a substance that will kill anything it touches or 2) You can always take a hammer to his face. With this knowledge in mind I realized that the only real way to kill him would be with the Methcron.

Realizing that it would be a long and hard journey to get the Methcron as it is guarded by the guardian of the ancients, I settled down and listened to some Johnny Cash. Then I fell asleep. At this point I got really bored so I decided to just use the hammer.

I had to be careful if I didn't want to be caught and sent to jail, so I began to scheme. It was in my daily escapes with Odovaucer that I began to realize that the beast had another weakness, food! Early the next day I stole his lunch box and rigged a hammer trap inside, pretty soon I’d have my revenge. Unfortunately I forgot that Odovaucer doesn't use a lunch box and Leah if you're well enough to read this I'm sorry.

That was actually the last thing I tried, I pleaded insanity but The Man won't let me have any more hammers. Either way Odovaucer has escaped me thus far, but don't worry noble bloggers, I'll keep you all posted on how close he is to death.

TO LIFE!


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.

- posted by Andrew @ 7:51 PM