I Just Found a Floppy Disc: I Tore It Apart
But wait, that's not the proper spelling of disk is it? Certainly not, but I'm misspelling it to look cool, you know, like Carver Buns the "Nudeist" Poster. I will never forgive him for that. That misspelling is appparently an intregral part of the Internet consciousness, and we continue to get hits off of searches for "nudeist."*

As horrifying as that is, let's forget about for a little while. Let's forget that that word has been imbedded in every page of this site to further boost search engine hits. Let's instead discuss this floppy disk I tore apart. It was just siting there, looking a little ragged, a little unloved, and very obsolete. Yes, that's right, your beloved floppy disks are sadly obsolete. Anything you could fit on one fits just as easily into an email or a free hosting service.

Why does email matter? Why would you want to email your precious little poems to someone else. They're yours; no one else would understand their depth and importance. Anyone else would simply dismiss them as poorly spelled and poorly conceived. And they'd be right.

If that's what you're thinking then you're incredibly stupid, so I can reasonably assume that quite a few readers are thinking that. I have a revelation for you. You can send emails to yourself. And you can read those emails on an entirely different computer.

I realize that that is quite a shock to your systems, and you may not be able to put this information to use right away. Luckily there's more. You see, any AOL Instant Messenger User (Yes AIM is a free download so anyone can easily be included in that category) can go to MyWebpage.Netscape.com and start storing files. It can hold anything your floppy disk could and more.

Still, that's another rather complicated procedure, so I shall leave you with one final method, a method so mind-blowingly simple you'll be shocked you hadn't thought of it. I won't be, though, because I know that you're a moron. Here it is: you can use your blog to store text. That's right, you can post your homework on your blog tonight and print it out in school tomorrow. Wowee! In fact, if you're using Blogger you don't even have to publish it, you can just use the "Save as Draft" function to store it privately.

Now that you have learned go forth and use these shocking new methods. Cast aside your floppy disks, for verily they are relics of a long-forgotten past. You could, of course, use them (or pieces of them) in all manner of aesthetic efforts, but please don't use them for file storage. Their time has past, much like democracy and the dodo.



And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.



*For the record I have no pride and "nudeist" has been placed on every page of this blog to increase the search engine hits.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 1:04 PM