Gimmickry
Some of you might have wondered about what super E-internet celebrities such as Odovaucer and myself do in our free time when we're not policing the internet with our increasingly witty banter. To be honest I play Doom3, at least until I get scared after two minutes and turn it off. Which is why I'm writing this update for you, not because any of you actually wonder of that I care that you do wonder, but so that I can use it as a segue into Lemon Party's most controversial topic: Gimmicks.

It was a pretty shitty segue wasn't it? Oh well, I just wanted to point out that I not only own Doom3, but my computer is powerful enough to run it, and run it well despite the fact that I have an ATI card. Anyway, let's move onto gimmickry and why I'll never sleep again.

As you may have already realized we like gimmicks, probably so much that if a gimmick ever took the form of an attractive woman I would not only do her, I'd also do her sister (assuming that she had one). Today we're going to discuss only a small section of gimmicks: catchphrases.

Before you say that I'm wrong, kill yourself. I can't stand dissenting opinions, they make me angry. Not in the hulk smash angry way, but in the "Imma go cut myself I'm so depressed angry", which now that I think about it isn't really angry. More to the point however, catchphrases.

Catchphrases are a lot like regular phrases, only you use them a lot. More than you should be allowed to. It's that fact that makes them catchphrases. However the very special things about catchphrases is that if used enough they will make people laugh, you could be saying the dumbest thing in the world but somehow, some way, you will use it and people will laugh. Albeit they will also be telling you how much they're going to hurt you while they are laughing, which will probably lead to pain. Great pain.

So this all of course leads to a single question: How do I make a catchphrase? And a single question deserves a single answer: just starting saying something over and over again. Yeah, you read through my entire update to just read this one small paragraph, don't you feel cheated?

Remember, anything can be a catchphrase, don't let the 'conventional' meaning of the word get to you. For instance, I have been able to describe everything I see as 'sassy'. And if that ain't great, I don't know what is.

And on a different note we have a new writer, one full of piss and vinegar. One who is also female (or so she claims). So if she ever updates (we've had bad luck with new writers in the past) be sure to tell her how funny she is, and she might show you her breasts (if she has any, she might have lost them in a freak accident, I don't know, I haven't met her).


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Andrew @ 7:19 PM