If a Child Were to Let Go of a Balloon on Independence Day Would Said Child Fly Away?
As you may know not long ago was the fourth of July. In America the fourth day of the month of July has a pseudo-religious significance. Because of that pseudo-religious festival no one wrote anything on Saturday, Sunday or Monday. That may seem strange to you, especially as we never do anything over the weekend and hardly ever on Mondays. Well congratulations. THis time we had an excuse. A new excuse rather. We don't update over the weekend to give you a chance to digest the latest in gospel truth, and we usually only update four times a week and it just happens that Monday often ends up with the short end. Monday's loss.

Moving on. Another look at the referrer logs has once again saddened me.

pcp430032pcs.pinhil01.ga.comcast.net
68.47.76.63 5/5

http://lemonparty.blogspot.com/2003_12_07_lemonparty_archive.html

http://search.msn.com/results.aspx?srch=105&FORM=AS5&q=nudeist


A search for "nudeist." A Georgian searching for nudeist. The problem here is that
a) The appropriate spelling would be "nudist" and
b) We aren't serious in our racism, which means we shouldn't be all that attractive to Deep South readers.

As you might have guessed this search fell upon a post by "CarverBuns, the nudeist [sic] poster." As you may have gathered by now that would be where most of of our apparent misspellings show up. But it's alright because what he's doing is art. And as art it cannot be held to the same Strunk and White code writing. Or so I've rationalized. I think it's a crock of shit, but anything to take the pressure down notch, eh?

It's been awhile since I've said anything about blogs so I'll get into some of that now. These folks consider themselves "Unusual People." The community is, unsurprisingly, pedestrian and uninspired. We have a choice selection of hip perversions and "humor posts." Allow me to quote a selection from one of the latter.

"Remember when you said you "lost" your virginity...well, i actually kidnapped it and forgot the ransom note....you wouldnt believe how long i had to rummage through your stuff before i finally found it.

we are getting along fine....i took it to the zoo..GEEZUS that fucking thing likes icecream.

the Stockholm Syndrome has kicked in with full effect. i seriously doubt you will ever see it again."

Now if we take a look at this piece we find, of course, spelling and punctuation errors galore. But let's try looking past young...err...pencil_pimp's obvious cognitive shortcomings and concentrate on what passes for humor in his tiny little padded cell of a mind. He takes a common idiom for one's first experience of sexual intercourse.(Losing one's virginity) and anthropomorphizes. Virginity becomes not a concept but a real organism, a presumably a desirable one. The taking of an innocuous expression and reducing it to absurdity is certainly a possible source of humor, so why does this writer fail so miserably? Because he's a moron. And because he picks an obvious subject. But mostly because he's a moron. Take this lesson to heart, morons.



And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 9:33 PM