DND: it's dy-no-mite
Since Odovaucer seems to love talking about DND and how much it sucks and why I'm stupid, I shall also talk about DND. However, I will be taking a different path, a path so different that if Odovaucer were to be traveling to Faerun I would be going to Eberron. Get it? Good.

See DND is a mystical fantasy world where anything and everything is possible. You could play a mighty elf ranger from a city long forgotten by time and join a party with a dwarf, an asimar, and a gnome. Sound cool yet? Oh, it gets better. You get to beat the shit out of things... alright not in the literal since. But there's a lot of satisfaction in taking out your greatsword and slashing the ever-loving shit out of some snot nosed goblin who just ambushed you. You can also attach (I think he means attack, but as I am not properly conversant in all things D&D I'll leave it as is - Odovaucer) members of your party in case they're pissing you off too. Pissing contests are encouraged out of game as you all make up situations where your character would kick the other characters' asses.

Okay, the last part kinda sucks, but at least you get to make little fantasies about you and that fine elf babe with 20 charisma, and the two of you doing it over and over again... err... I mean you could do that if you wanted to. If you were sick and lonely (which I'm not!) (Right - Odovaucer). Anyways it seems that I've gotten off topic; another cool things that you can do is be Granzedral: Lord of the Dwarves. No really, it's cool to make up crazy as hell fantasy names, or, if you don't want to make up crazy as hell fantasy names, gibberish works well too. Even normal names like 'Chris' will work, but they will make the party hate you for having to call you that. It's a win/win situation really.

Like I've been saying, it's cool to be lord of the dwarves. Sometimes though, people seem to like it a bit too much. Confused by that obviously confusing statement where I left out important information? See there are other roleplaying games, other roleplaying games that may or may not be set in the future, or, as some would like to say: in the now. See when you're in the now, you may want to choose nowesque names. Such as Andrew, Bob, Ralph, Jeff, Jason... or if you're feeling sassy go for some crazy oriental name if you want to play some crazy oriental like Mai Ling or something, who the hell knows? The point is that you're in the present time, a time where names like Odovaucer Ostrogoth Barbarian conqueror or Rome don't exist. At least they shouldn't unless your parents are filthy unwashed hippies.

So please, go ahead and enjoy the fantastical world of roleplaying, but let's do it under two circumstances:

1) Realize how stupid you sound when you're roleplaying, no really, realize it.

2) Don't choose fantasy name for roleplaying games set in the modern day. I mean really folks, you don't have to be Eltertron: mighty warforged worrier. You can just be Kara: grad-student extraordinaire. (Wow, that word was badly misspelled - Odovaucer)[turtle note: Nuh uh, I totally checked out the spelling in THE DICTIONARY you dirty liar]

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you had about DND, because I didn't address any, and if it did then I am some sort of misconception clearing genius. BEHOLD!


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.


I get the feeling that update is probably hard to read, this is what happens when you play DND, but it's cool. I rolled a natural 20 and slayed the goblin. Dragons are nigh impossible to slay in one hit, and they are pretty hard to kill so you don't face them often, not like the name implies.

PS: If you play DND you can use cool words like nigh. (You can also use such words if you can spell them and can manage to use them without looking like a fool. Needless to say, this includes a vanishingly small portion of the population. Some would say that it is nigh impossible to find someone who could properly use such words. - Odovaucer, teaching through negative example)

PPS: Fixing spelling and grammar in this update made me very sad for some reason. - Odovaucer
- posted by Andrew @ 5:27 PM