I am Wearing P.A.N.T.S.
Today is a great day in the history of the universe. It is a great day because I am wearing pants. Pants of jstice, pants of doom. Pants of Joy, pants of sex. Pants of power, pants of listlessness. Pants of misspelling, pants of repetition. Pants ghoti, pants repetition. Pants of Gandhi, pants of Stalin. In short, pants. Not to be confused wih "In short pants." Short pants are a travesty and a sin.

To quote my friend Cancer_Cookies deeply out of context: Those that wear short pants should "eat a bag of dicks." There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. Actually Cancer_Cookies wasn't a horse, but he was a faggot, so whatever. Faggots are pretty close to horses, amirite? Or not. Maybe they aren't. I don't think it's really important at all, though. So we're going to forego the segue and go straight to some better subject.

Back to pants. I wear pants, and wear them proudly. Pants, you see are the basis of modern civilization. Without pants we would never have been able to escape the primordial ooze. Well pants didn't actualy matter back in the primordial ooze, let alone exist. But they begame vital shortly thereafter. Well once they were invented. Which was actually quite a while later. Still, once pants came on the scene it was not long before they made a difference. They quickly replaced all previous manners of dress. Skirts and kilts and such were simply failed to provide the necessary coverage for warmth. Not to mention the disastrous effect of windy days. Perhaps disastrous is not a strong enough word. But at least it is a word.* And as to togas and other various one-piece ensembles...well I think you know what problems one-piece ensembles can lead. Not the least of which is the nefarious "contradiction in terms," not to be confused with the even more deadly "oxymorn." One-pieces simply do not allow the flexibility inherent in multi-layer clothing, and they rarely provide pants-level coverage. And to think, they reviled the inventor of pants with such sallies as: "You have the legs of a goat!"

P.A.N.T.S.

P.A.N.T.S. is not a word, but an acronym. But what, you may ask, is it an acronym for? Well, I had a really good answer to that, but I forgot it. Oh well.



And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.


*Unlike "Irregardless" you stupid faggots.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 3:09 PM