Cry me a river, liberal.
Perhaps it's time that I came clean. Well, as cleans as someone in my position can come. I honestly didn't know that it would go this far, nor did I realize the consequences when I began but I think that it's time that I told all of you the truth.

Or not, fuck you. I don't owe ANY of you ANYTHING (Capital letters for posterity). In fact, the only reason why I write in this blog is because it gives me something to do that doesn't involve drinking and writing angry letters to my ex; 90% of our you aren't even repeat readers, you're just some shitbags who took a google search and went along for the ride. Just fucking wonderful.

On an entirely different note, I have discovered yet another sin against The Party. It would seem that in our quest for god-hood Odovaucer and I forgot something very important, something that we cannot stress the importance of enough, something that is so important that if it were ever found out you would probably say something to the extent of "Man, that is important, so spaketh Zod."

I just ignored the whole add and/or to those list of threes separated by commas, fuck yea. Anyway as I was saying, I have discovered another sin against us. However, what makes this sin curious is not the fact that it is a sin, as there have been many sins in the past. No, the reason why this sin is special is because it doesn't involve something that we hate; it involves something that we are.

Still not getting it? Allow me to spell it out for you because I didn't explain it at all in that previous paragraph. See, if Odovaucer and I are to ascend to the next stage of life we must first shed our corporal bodies and become one with pure energy. As you may have already guessed, it's very hard to do that; So I began researching a second, easier option.

Haven't you ever wondered if perhaps reality is just an illusion? Something created by all human minds, what they expect to happen happens? You might think to yourself: "If I could make enough people believe something, then it would become true." My plan is something along those lines, except that I'm not stupid enough to think that if I can convince enough people reality will change; I have taken a slightly different approach. If no one knew the truth, who could contest it?

That is to say that if I were to tell Bob that Jim's dying words were "Andrew is the coolest guy ever", and I was the only one to be at Jim's death, well then who would be able to tell me otherwise? I hope to do something like this in regards to the problem of God-hood. If no one knew us personally then who would be able to claim that we weren't gods? No on, that's who.

Thou Shalt Not Know The Party Personally

And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.


Please note that the entire update was in jest, I don't actually want to be anything higher than your Lord and Master, although I would probably settle for just E-Internet Celebrity.
- posted by Andrew @ 8:47 PM