What if?
In a stunning new development, it's been proven that we are the source of all things evil. Story at 11.

By 11, I have the 26th. Seriously, read that update. And them comment you sons of bitches, I mean honestly people, we don' t work for free... well we do. But is one god damned comment too much to ask? People who whine about their shitty lives and write about it in poorly written blogs get all sorts of comments. WAAH WAAH I'm a failure at life at 15 WAAH WAAH my life is over because I'm 15 and no girl has ever touched me because I'm a fat bastard who writes fanfiction of Jade from Jackie Chan Adventures turning into a demon and then fucking her uncle. Oh wait, that was me. Ignore the spelling mistakes though, I didn't believe in spell checker back then. In other news, I'm not fat or fifteen. What's up with that?

Oh yea, back on topic. You're a loser who thinks that being a loser at 15 is some sort of foreshadow about how the rest of your life will be. If people would stop living in the now, and start living in the future we'd be much happier. For instance, in the future Odovaucer and I are both E-Internet celebrities. If I lived in the now I'd realize that we're just bitter people who run a bitter blog where everyone hates us and no one comments (I'm sad). Luckily, I don't live in the now... I mean I will if it will get you fuckers to comment. I still can't get over that, I mean we run a website, and I know for a fact that I spend at least a half an hour on each update, making sure that it's funny (I try! Honestly!) and not too poorly written drivel about Julie rejecting your advances even AFTER you took off your pants. Of course that shit gets at least 20 comments ranging anywhere from "Sorry dood" to "You're a fucking retard", but I mean they still get comments. And before you commie pinko bastards bring up the fishing for compliments commandment, I'm not fishing for some god damned compliments, I'm not even fishing for comments every single day. I just ask that once in a while when my stupendous brain fails and I'm forced to ask you worthless mongrels (you've proven yourselves to be worthless by not commenting) I ask for just a response or two. I know for a fact that a few of you enjoy the wacky antics that we do, so come on, give back a little.

That was a long and stupid rant, I mean who woulda thunk that I would actually rant on my blog. God forbid I should be a hypocritical bastard! It's not like you are. I believe that the term that you're looking for is "oh snap", or as the Japanese say "oh snapu". Man, I gotta stop ragging on the Japanese, they're people too (unlike you). God am I feeling bitter, I guess it comes with the territory.

And oh god I'm so alone. So very very alone. I can't go on doing this anymore, ragging on people for complaining about something that I want every single day... oh who doesn't want to be loved? Oh I'm going to die alone, oh god no one will ever love me. I just can't go on without someone loving me. For the love of god, you people make me sick. It's even more horrible when they add some sort of condition too it, I'm alone... but the person MUST love the song Scatman as much as me. I'm sick and tired of reading your retarded drivel, I mean I realize that I always talked about trying to guide and father, and not just break down but at this point I'm so bitter and angry that I wouldn't care if you died of malaria.

I'm just joking, Malaria is a horrible way to go. Not a very funny joke huh? Yea, well I tried, which is more than can be said about your ugly face you son of a bitch.


I'm so cold... so very cold.


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Andrew @ 8:55 PM