Today is Friday
So as you can tell, today is a Friday. A Friday not especially different from most other Fridays. Now you may be wondering about the story behind that title. As you well know titles can get a little funky here at Lemon Party. Rather often we’ve referenced semi-obscure songs. I’m not sure why. turtle_07 tends to do it more frequently than the rest of us, so I suppose we’ll have to ask him just why. I guess it’s just the suggestion of a larger whole that appeals to us, that sense of belonging. Okay, that was utter bullshit. Snatches of song are useful because they should hint at a niggling memory, something just beyond the reader’s ready conscious. That vague hint entices you to continue on trying to find enough clues to wrest the rest of that memory from your obstinately clutching memory. That was also bullshit. The thing with bullshit is that it seems to make sense, and sensible things are more reassuring than hippopotamus haikus.

Hippopotamus
Anti-hippopotamus
Annihilation

Moving on. Actually I don’t think we’ll move on just yet.

I see a hippo-
Potamus in that stream
Oh my. What a splash.

That there be a hip-
Popotamus hippopot-
Amus. A hippo.

That hippo haiku
Definitely blew hippo-
Potamus shitcock.

Haikus are very
Very very very hip
Opotamus-y.

Hippopotamus
Uber-hippopotamus
Whoa is me. Like whoa.

Bored now. Like I said those were hippopotamus haikus. Back to titles. What should I title that series? I think perhaps I’ll call it Sex With Nadine. But perhaps that’s not subtle enough. Perhaps the more artistic Making Love with Nadine. Still, I think that’s too crude. The subtlety of this final title is much more satisfying: Oh My God Why the Fucking Hell Do You Want to Read These Goddawful Examples of a Goddawful Poetic Form, You Fucking Mongoloid Anal Spelunker. That’s more my style. But I was talking about
Lemon Party titles before I was so rudely interrupted. Ah well, that’s what my personal assistant is for. Now not all titles are from songs, I would call those a minority in fact. Also a minority are the strictly descriptive titles. That’s pretty self-explanatory, but I’ll point you to an example because you’re probably a stupid redhead. The entry just below this one is descriptively titled. Durr. Goddamn redheads. And the third and final minority is the dada joke, which, of course, requires no explanation.

Are you waiting for the majority? I hope so, as I’m not going to tell you; suffice to say it’s pretty obvious. Deafeningly obvious. Really, really obvious. So obvious a redhead could grasp it. Well…maybe not a redhead. But most everyone else. Today’s title though. Obviously it’s not a reference to today’s date, as today’s date is dinner and movie, not Friday. But does that means I’m referencing the Hemingway short story? Perhaps I am. And what does that mean then? And do I really expect my readers to have read an obscure work by a critically acclaimed author when I routinely accuse you of being illiterate? And when will I stop asking rhetorical questions and get back into the expository?

Well the answer to that last question is right now, or is it? Apparently not, wouldn’t you agree? Okay, okay, I’m done. See? I did it. Now who’s waiting for the blog link? Well that certainly was a link to a blog. The writer does a ton of stuff wrong, but of course what gets me is that the blog’s title is a misspelling. I mean come on, how hard is it to figure out that there’s no “z” in princess? Huh? How fucking hard is that? As hard as the fucking pony I’m going to stick up your ass if ever think about reproducing you fucking moron. Jesus the Christ. And how about this? Not only a proud fucking redhead, (Fucking Christ, fucking Christ, fucking Christ.) but also a person who simply refuses to write more than a single paragraph per update. No, make that a single motherfucking sentence. It makes me sad. But that’s par for the course with redheads. Don’t be a redhead.

Don’t be a Redhead

I don't think I can stress the importance of that statement enough. Being a redhead is disastrous; in fact it is more likely to cause you problems than thinking princzess is a word. And believe you me, princzesses have it very tough in today's world.


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.

- posted by Odovaucer @ 6:04 AM