Power Overwhelming
We are approaching a new era my friends. While we at Lemon Party are amazingly talented and witty individuals, we still run into problems like any other human beings. Just like this person does. Sure I don't know who they are, nor have I read their journal, but they have one, and that's all that I need to know that they are probably whining about one thing or another. I mean that's what you have a journal to do, to whine, to bitch, to complain, and even on some rare occasions, to tell people how happy you are. Sometimes they are used, like we at Lemon Party use them, and that's to poke a little harmless (read: not harmless, at least by some people) fun at blogs and the retardation that surrounds them. Honestly, you could be the smartest person ever (not likely) and run a horribly retarded blog. I mean angst itself just seems retarded. Of course I'm only saying that because I haven't experienced the true pain of life. I have a lot of friends, my family is pretty well off, and well... I'm just liked.

On the other hand though...

I've never had a girlfriend.

I've never felt soft lips press against mine... i've never kissed a girl... i've never loved. Oh god I'm going to die alone and no one will ever love me. OH GOD I'M SUCH A FAILURE!! FUCK YOU WORLD! FUCK THE MAN! FUCK THE POLICE! FUCK THAT CUNT TZEITEL FOR GETTING MARRIED IN THE SONG THAT I'M LISTENING TO! FUCK YOU ALL.

You know Odovaucer? He has a girlfriend. I mean he's like the craziest fuck ever, but somehow he gets one. Why not me man? WHY THE FUCK NOT ME!? I'll admit I'm not the best looking guy in the flock, but I'm not bad. I mean I'm not intensely overweight and I have blue eyes. BLUE FOR GODS SAKE! BLUE! I mean what color are his eyes? Probably some piece of shit green or brown. Their such losers, fucking greenies (I will not say brownies... as that would be racist. Oh shit). Whatever. You're all the same with your god damned dominant genes. Us blue eyed people, we have to deal with the recessive genes. You hear that! RECESSIVE! WE HAVE TO LIVE OUR HORRIBLE LIVES WITH OUR HORRIBLE RECESSIVE GENES, IT'S NOT OUR FAULT!

Of course the god damned brown (and green) eyed people don't understand that. And they try to hide how much they hate us behind fancy words. "They're not brown, they're hazel", fuck that noise you son of a bitch. Your eyes are brown and live with it, just cause you're eyes aren't as good as mine doesn't mean that you have to hate me. I am SO sick and tired of these green eyed scum bags beating me up for being different, it's just not fucking cool man. Whatever, I'm not going to complain about them, I'm just better than they are. The conversation is over, anyone who starts it up again is a loser because I ended it right here because I am better than you. BETTER THAN YOU DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME!? Yea, it's over, I'm just above all that arguing.

Now that I'm done arguing we can move on with the update proper. The point that I was trying to make before I dropped into some sort of rant about my eyes (which are very pretty thank you) was that there is a website for everything online. Say that you want hot hot Japanese scat porn, why then you have Tub Girl, or say that you want a place to put up your writings where you, a punk, hip, and nonconformist goth girl get turned into a vampire and then while listening to linkin park you show those conformist bitches who the stupid ones are. Why then you could post it in FictionPress, or if you had an idea for some totally rad fanfiction where all the characters in super smash brothers find romance, then you could post it on it's sister site: Fanfiction.Net. There are sites for everything... and I mean everything.

I mean if I were to go to the forementioned site I would definitely not go looking for... ohh... i don't know, computer hardware. So when you go to a Live Journal do you except to get porn? Or Poetry? Or even computer hardware? No! Of course not. And I mean when sites are set up for specific things they tend to have special features. I don't know what these features are, I guess that you'll just have to trust me on this one. So what I don't get is when people use their blog entirely to tell people about quizzes they took, or to just exclusively post poetry. It's called a weblog for a reason damnit, let's keep it that way!

So in conclusion, keep your Dead/Livejournal a journal, your diary a diary, and your Web Log a weblog. Sure pollute your worthless drivel with shitty poems and useless tests, but always try and keep in mind what it is. If you're just going to try and sell drugs through your blog, keep in mind that there are many better places to do it online. Now before you all start pointing fingers and screaming "hypocrite" keep in mind what this is, a web log, a log of our commandments. Before you start screaming about how yours is a log of your poems, keep in mind that there are MANY MANY websites that are MADE so that you can post shitty poetry. Besides, consider the irony here. In a blog we slam other blogs. I realize that irony is beyond most of you, but to the few that will understand, just consider that.

Blue eyes are superior:

Thou shalt keep thine Blog a Blog


And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Andrew @ 8:08 PM