777 is the number of the beast. The people who say 666 are dirty filthy lying communist pig rat dogs.
If you've gone to school, you probably know a good deal of words. If you know a good deal of words, you probably know the word "Seven", the word seven, much like the number 7, is a number. It could be used in many situations, such as: I will need drugs in seven minutes, or if the bus goes under fifty miles per hour then seven we are going to die. The point is that it has a meaning and it does stuff, I'm still not sure what but we've got our scientists on the job 24/7 (there's that number again!) monitoring exactly what seven does. Currently our scientists report that seven is scratching his ass and masturbating to internet porn. And as I am currently listening to the Daft Punk song "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" I will move onto the actual update.

Actually, no I won't. You little shits don't deserve an actual update. So instead I'm going to tell you about another word, a very friendly and happy word. But things went bad for the friendly little word. You see, it seem that no one wanted to use him.

This word my friends, was named "Summary". Summary you see was best friends with paraphrase. These two little words were neglected by people who were, well... stupid. These two neglected words decided that if people wouldn't come to them, they would go to them. So they set off on a magic ship made of candy canes, brownies, and jalapeno sauce. Like I said, this was a magical ship that could sail between two places in an instant and then transform into a giant robot and fight crime. To make a long story short they got eaten by cannibals.

But their message still lives on! Magic ships are bad news, don't use them.


To those clever smarty pants people who believe that these ramblings count as an update, I guess you're right. So instead I'm going to cover my tracks and do the ACTUAL update now, see that was just the segue to the update. To those who say that the segue us part of the update, shut up.

Anyway, on to kittens. My! Here's a cute one now:




It would appear that I have gone off track, not that I had a track in the first place I just needed an excuse to call you all little shits, because that is what you are. Little shits.

Back to summaries. They're good. Real good. Because honestly if someone said to you "Hay d00d, i missed da Lizzemon Party update, tell me about it!" You're not going to quote the entire thing, you're probably going to say "that turtle_07 is a jackass who likes insulting everyone!" Honestly if you have an update that's 3 pages long, then I guess I may read it, I mean if it's interesting or something. Otherwise you better believe that I'm not going to touch it. So of course the best way to make it interesting is to post a long and convoluted AIM chat conversation where you talk to your best friend about a boy that you like. Of course you're too lazy to actual edit it at all so instead we get a line explaining that you're talking to your best friend online and then a long conversation with about 10 interesting lines. Nevermind that those interesting lines are all in AOL shorthand, there are only 10 of them in an hour long conversation.

Honestly, in this case summary is our friend. That long update could have been turned into:

"So me when I got online I talked to Sarah who told me to not worry about the break up so much and to keep on going. I think that it'll be hard after he broke my heart in XYZ ways, but at least i've got Sarah supporting me."

Now, yours won't actually look like that because you will have things to mention. But the point remains, do above, or this. I think that the choice should be pretty clear. You should have a long time to update, so I mean come on, give it to us with feeling! Don't just throw out some old AIM conversation that you used and expect us to read the god damned thing that may or may not involve inside jokes so inside that we stop reading after the first 5 lines.

In conclusion (this should be a summary), you're a shithead who posts long convoluted chatlogs and expects us to read your 20 pages of pain. Good job champ.

or in commandment form:

Thou shalt not post chatlogs

And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Andrew @ 11:20 PM