Lemon Party
Monday, December 08, 2003
What's in a name?
"In the end, whatever, we die we dissolve, equations unbalanced, riddles unsolved"
That, my dear good friends, is a quotation from a song by The Dismemberment Plan. There's no real reason for it being here other than the fact that I find it to be a cool phrase, and the singer's delivery makes it my favorite part of the song. That's right, I can write anything here and you'll have to read it.
Actually, for the sake of simplicity I'll use this as a way to move into my actual topic (Those of us who've made into middle school English refer to that as a "segue" pronounced segway - Odovaucer). The excerpt comes from a song called "Back and Forth", and get this: part of the song (the chorus) corresponds to the title; imagine that!
Here's the chorus for those of you who want to know how they fit together:
So throw your hands in the air
And wave them like you just don't care
It's on a whim; it's on a dare
To shrug away what we can't bear
And we're going back and forth
And back and forth and back and forth and back
We're going back and forth
And back and forth and back and forth and back
Holy cow, does that ever match the title!
It has come to my attention, however, that many blogs do not follow this rule. Many blogs try as some songs do, to have a title that either doesn't tie in at all or trying to hide it's meaning cleverly with large words that may or may not be relevent to blogging (or the song). And while many songwriters have the talent and intelligence to not only write the songs but also spell words correctly, you do not. It's a fact, a sad one, but a fact nonetheless. Let the songwriters be the clever ones, let the engineers design things, let the coders code, and the rest of you mongloids can just pump our gas.
That said I have compiled a small list of blogs (livejournals, deadjournals) that have decided to beat the system, and instead of putting up a title like "Username('s blog)" or "Alex's thoughts" or just "My blog," they have decided to think outside the box. Congratulations, you've failed miserably.
First off we have: Deranged Fun, how this blog is deranged or fun I have no clue. But don't just take my word for, take this entry entitled Halloween:
Ghouls, goblins, witches, vampires and...
FAT KIDS HAULING ASS DOWN THE ROAD SNATCHING LITTLE KID'S BAGS OF CANDY!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
HAHAHahaha...? ok... That was neither deranged nor fun. In fact I want the minutes of my life back after your reading your blog/journal. Just call it "Justin's Journal" you jackass.
Ooh ooh, here's another good one: My Bowl of Noodles. A bit more entertaining than the last title but still not quite witty enough. Wow, your thoughts are like noodles in a bowl. Since the noodles are IN the bowl that implies that they're cooked. So while we have your thoughts, we have no oomph, no sauce, no speciality; congratulations you're just like the 700000 other people who have blogs.
Next up we have a blog entitled Random Thoughts. Don't get me wrong, this blog is wonderful in that it's coherent, with words that are actually spelled correctly. Another plus is that it doesn't use horribly clashing colors. Still, as this entry is just about names, I must nix this blog. This person doesn't actually share with us random thought's, more so it seems to just be random accounts of his life. Whether this is simply a problem on my end or he doesn't understand the concept of random is still being investigated.
In conclusion Thy Title Shalt Match Thy Blog
My that was exciting! Stay tuned for my next entry where I teach you all how to write an angry entry.
To those who will probably see that my using song lyrics is breaking my own commandment: if I have to explain to you how it's not you probably don't have the intelligence to be reading this blog in the first place.
And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.