A Reevaluation
Hiya kids, if you were hoping to find an insight into life, the universe, or stealing bits from better writers, you've come to the wrong place. Plagiarism is strictly out. Or as I like to put it:

To be or not to be, that is the question. To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!

Not quite finished, I think it needs a bit more polish. Oh well we'll see. And on to business. Here at Lemon Party I've tried to bring a bit of enlightment to the huddled teeming masses of mediocre bloggers clogging the sewers of the internet. To this end I've given you the ongoing saga of the commandments and enlisted another writer to bring another persective on your idiocies (Don't get me wrong, I find your utter stupidity adorable; verily I love you like children, just retarded children). He also (without my go ahead if oyu care to know) added a feature of his own. A bit of positive advice in writing better entries. What can I say, he's a little less cynical, a little less jaded, probably he's just browsed fewer comments pages. Which brings me to the main point of this exercise in futility. A third series is upon us. This I've got a heretofor ignored topic: Comments. Yes, comments. In common parlance they suck. Like a two dollar Indochinese hooker, to be specific (Yes I've decided that Geordie Tait is a better man than I. He may very well be the only one, but he is.). The point is I'm not blaming you! It's like running in the Special Olympics. Of course you're shit, but it's because you don't know any better. But that's about to change I'm going to provide with an opportunity for betterment. We'll start out with simple objective ways to improve. Then moving into slightly more subjective terrain. Perhaps the later elements may provoke a dissentine response. If so feel free to respond. There is a comments system here after all. Just don't expect me to treat you as an equal as chances are you're a mongoloid with indulgent parents and perpetual flecks of spittle slowly trickling down your chin.

With that said Commentary on Commentary shall kick it up a notch to a very simple subject: Names. Pseudonyms are fine. If you're a pussy there's no reason not to try to disguise your identity. And if you want to run the gimmick gauntlet more power to you. Cowzertraz's comments system is infested with gimmick trolls, many of them controlled by several different people. The problem is when you can't decide how to obscure your name. If you list your name as dc there's no reason to sign your name as dorenzo at the end of the post. You've already been indentified as dc! Pick a name and go with it. And even if your name is dc, you don't need to put that at the bottom of the post when there's a fucking line marked NAME. That's for your NAME. NAME! In your hypothetical case that would be your choice of dc and dorenzo.

And in other news the LP stable has added another to stud to its pastures. Sorry, that imagery is just too much. I'm going to have to stop typing for amoment to have a giggle break. (Some time later) Anyway, Carver Buns will be joining us shortly. And furthermore he has promised to write all of his updates...in the nude. It's a daring new strategy, never before attempted by any writer, not even a former member of the Monty Python cast hard at work on the novelization of a computer game designed by Douglas Adams. So in a feat of utter originality CarverBuns is in like Flynn (eccept nekkid).




And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
- posted by Odovaucer @ 11:03 PM