Planes, trains, and automobiles.
Poetry poetry poetry, why hast thou forsaken me?

My friends, my fellow bloggers, my parents, we have something important to discuss. It would appear that many blogs are now cluttered with what they would have you believe is poetry; this is of course complete and utter bullshit.

I would like to bring to the jury's attention exhibit A (Taken from here):


I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Woaaaaahhhh there sparky, calm down, obviously you have emotion otherwise you would stop existing. No emotion, no motive to do anything. The reasons behind the correctness of this statement would require another paragraph and would probably cause your brain to explode, so just take my word for it, ok? Good!

Believe me, most of your poetry is going to be about how different you are and how no one understands you. Which I mean is fine if you like that sort of thing, however when you grow up you'll have to join us normals in the workplace and become a productive member of society. At night you can go back to haunting the dreams of the innocents (unless of course you have a night shift) but soon you'll probably realize how crazy you are and conform.

Moving onto section two, wherein I explain that I don't hate all poetry.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like lots of poetry, I'm not some art hating freak. Only problem is when people decide to write poetry in their blogs about how different they are, and how they're going to snap, and blah blah blah blah blah. Jesus Christ, give it a rest people. No one cares about your shitty problems, and no one's going to care about your shitty poetry.

By all means, post poetry in your blog. I don't mind, just try and make sure that it's not yours. Also while doing so, don't break the Lyrics Commandment and explain why its there (and not some shitty reason either) and we'll be fine.

And as I am feeling generous today, I'll also tell you all that you can in fact post your own poetry... just try to make sure that you've proof read it a couple of times and you didn't just write it on the fly to express how different you are. (Actually all you really need to do is make sure it doesn't suck, which is suprisingly difficult - Odovaucer)



Thou shalt not post poetry (unless sanctioned by the commandments of the Party) in your blog.




And remember the guiding light, lest we forget the glory that be Lemon Party.
Because your blog sucks.
- posted by Andrew @ 1:06 PM